EP 62: An Unconventional Approach to Goal-Setting | Part 2

Today we're diving into the second part of our conversation with Ally and Carly on goal setting. If you have not listened to part one yet, stop right now and go listen to that episode it aired just the episode right before this one. And then once you've listened to part one, come back here for part two. Okay, you'll thank me later, So next up before the conversation for today starts to roll, I am so excited. It's so excited to tell you about Think happy's newest program called Becoming your Best You. Becoming your Best You is an eight week group program that has been designed to take you from overwhelmed stressed, running in circles, unproductive, with your time distracted, and just being on empty and transition you into being in control of your life and everything on your to do list, to having a plan for each day, to consistently having enough time for yourself, and ultimately being in the driver's seat of your own life. Do you ever find yourself feeling like the old you had time for exercise, time for eating well and healthy lifestyle routines, but you just can't find the time for that stuff anymore. Do you ever find yourself feeling like you are going NonStop yet you can never get through your to do list because you run out of time. Or do you ever find yourself struggling to stick with new habits or routines that you know will make your life better, easier, or or healthier, but you just can't stick with them. Well, let me tell you something. You were made for more than having intentions of starting that new habit or routine off on the right foot, but following short time and time again. You were made for more than using your valuable time unproductively and therefore feeling like you can never catch up. You were made for more than feeling constantly overwhelmed and drained. This is egg exactly why I have created the Becoming Your Best You Program. It is time to be proactive and put an end to this exhausting, unserving cycle that you're in. So inside the program, you're going to learn how to identify time you waste or use them productively, and how to reallocate that time back to yourself. You'll learn time management practices that you can start incorporating into your life immediately so that you can start optimizing your time right away. You'll learn how to manage and prioritize your tasks so you're able to efficiently get them done. You'll learn how to identify tasks that can be delegated and how to actually start delegating them. And finally, you'll learn how to build a routine that is sustainable and foster's being your best You. Included in the program are eight weekly self paced educational videos that will teach you about each week's theme. You also have weekly live group coaching calls with Me to support your learning and growth, to you know, add additional insight to the weekly videos, and to answer your specific questions. You'll also receive daily communication daily communication with Me and the other group members to provide support and ongoing guidance throughout the program. Plus there's also some pretty awesome bonus materials. So if you've been looking for a sign, this is it. Early bird pricing is officially open and I can hear your spot calling your name. Apply now at Thinkhappyco.com/becomingyou to secure your spot at the discounted early bird price and to receive access to a bonus intro module so you can hit the ground running for questions d M on Instagram and I will personally get back with you and again. To apply, just go to Thinkhappyco.com/becomingyou.

With that being said, let's get straight into the second part of today's episode. So still, you know, still talking about the goal setting here. Now, I would love to hear how each of you actually go about setting goals. If you have some sort of process or you know what that looks like for both of you? Who wants to start? Well, so I think we're going to get a little bit real here, you know, please, you know we're we're messy humans, just like anyone else. So the best of intentions, honestly, if you're asking about our actual like my process, heart process, and I think because we do share brain and we can't speak creative for both of us. I think any time that I have a something the new that I want to do, you know, I'm constantly running it by first of all the loved ones and in my life, and I know that Ally shares the same thing. We were talking about this, you know, kind of doing that that gut check around like is this something I should be doing? I'm thinking about this thing and checking in on each other. We have a rich community of i'd say pretty successful folks and that and that can that success can be played out in the home too, Like there's very successful to me stay at home moms that you dedicate their time to Girl Scouts and in all of these endeavors that I aspire to do. But like we have some pretty significant professionals too that have weighed in on very big decisions. It's like we don't have a board. And if we had a board, I think it'd be um it would be pretty significant size group of people. But friends and family, I mean that's it, Like you've got to get the pulse check on these folks and um I think what I love the most is when people just get so real with me. I I feel like in life I have, for some reason given this person and that I can't. I don't have thick skin. But I think you would you agree that I do absolutely more than me me the hard stuff. Tell me we we always um and the team. I'm like, you know, to know. But like that is in life and our profession. Just get tell me if I got the pepper and my teeth, like I want so real because you know, I think back to early stage when when Continuum was was only a discussion and an idea, and I think about the people that championed that had, you know, the positive things to say, but also the realistic to that mentor you know, like level setting. Yeah, but yeah, you're gonna work your face off. You think you're going to work class, you just you just work different. Also, I think, yeah, yeah, I tell my girls, I'm like, I'm I'm leaving my first full time job to come home to my second full time Yeah. Absolutely absolutely, but it's or yeah, joy on both ends. I saw something on Instagram last night and it was so funny to me. It was a real and it was a mom like standing in our kitchen like stretching and you know, like reaching up and then touching her toes like clearly preparing for something. And then the caption was me preparing for my job that starts at four pm and ends at nine pm exactly. Yeah, is not my best sell. Yeah, but thankfully, you know, we have a really amazing support system at home too, So that is that is huge to have and and I'm so grateful for that as well. But um, just some some people behind us championing us along the way. Um. But setting goals, I mean, you know, talking about being messy like we like anybody else, right, like you have the best of intentions, and certainly I think when we have our continuum hat on, it's a lot easier. You know, there's people like really, I mean there's people depending on you at home too. But I don't know. For me, it's it's it's easier to think about, I'm um than a personal goal, for example, like if I'm setting one for just me, carly, like that is I put you know, a lot more pressure on myself, I feel like, I mean there's it's a different kind of pressure. And then if I don't reach that goal, you know. Then there's this living in shame spiral, which we talk about a lot a lot, right, Like self shaming is is something that you know, I'm sure a lot of people struggle with and um, but it's so important to just get that out. Yeah, that's it's a great it's a great thing to bring up. Sometimes we have to just check in at work because let's be clear, there are plenty of goals, whether stated or unstated, because I have a lot of unstated goals because of my fear of failure. So I'll just unuck those in. If somebody gets them, it's probably carly. Just but we come to work and we're just like, if that shame game is is living strong in our brains, I'll just like, do you have five minutes in our work days are so much better because we talk about that and we get you know, are because we're hard on ourselves. That's that's what I think. Women do a great job beating ourselves up pretty good. And back to that shame game. So I am. I do think one of the things that helps us achieve our goals is kind of ridding our minds of yes, the garbage. It's kind of like putting the impostor syndrome to bed and saying like, no, you're not going to be present here, which is so much easier said than I'm on the head. Yes, impostor syndrome is definitely something that we've talked about. I mean, I know I've struggled with it a lot, where you know, we sat at the table with incredibly successful, incredibly intelligent, driven men and women across the city and across the state, and sometimes I'm I'm like, how did I get a seat at this table, you know, and are they going to find out what if I say something? Yeah, Yeah, it's a really rich dialogue that we've had. You know, something interesting, one of the we had talked about imposter syndrome internally a few times. And then one of the people that I think that we would probably categorize as you described at this like incredible CEO and well spoken, Like I joke with him that I believe his meetings with a new vocabulary word every time. That's awesome. He said the same thing to us in a meeting, and how fully that was for us to go, there's no way you have to deal with this, like and oh my gosh, that is a man and the less and then you know, speaking and breathing so much life into the both of us because it had been a theme, I mean, it had been a rich theme for us, which what are we doing?

You know as we try for us internally, we we shifted office is to the Ion District, which is a center of innovation in Houston, and it's opened up really great doors and really rich conversations. But there's some brilliant people and so that his that has been kind of lurking a little bit. Yeah, I think I think about it more often than not. If I'm being just completely transparent, like you know, especially, I'll find myself like kind of drifting when someone's talking and I'm just going, well, this person is truly amazing. And then and then it's it's that voice in my head that starts going, but are you that amazing? No, you're not. And then I have to go, Okay, but I have my own gifts, and you know, God gave me the gifts that he wanted me to have, and how do I use those in the world? And I and I feel like I'm doing a good job, and I know that you are, and and we champion each other and I'm your biggest cheerleader girl. And then we talk about this, and she and I were having this exact same conversation just among friends, right forget the business, and she was saying, you know something about like I'm always wondering this, and I said, look, you have certain gifts and I have certain gifts and strengths and weaknesses, and often those are parallel to one another, which is why we're a good team, but also often their opposites of one another. And I feel like, sometimes, you know, in an area that is harder for me, Ali can step in and vice versa, and we can just be um that support system for one another. And you don't you don't have to compare yourself to the person sitting next to you or the person sitting across from you and say like, well, they've done X y Z, what have I done? Because if you really were being super honest with yourself, if if penned to paper, you could come up with some things that you have definitely accomplished and accomplished well and and being able to celebrate that. Yeah, it's so true. And I think that one of the most interesting and probably brutal things about impostor syndrome is that it's something we only see ourselves as having, and we never, at least for myself, I never look at someone else and think like, oh, they must really be struggling with imposter syndrome. You know, the thought not even cross my mind. All I can see is how they are rocking it beautiful on the inside and out, you know, just like totally coming to the table with their a game time and time again. But we don't give ourselves that same credit. You know, interesting it really is. I always say the listeners are going to laugh because I literally say this probably every other episode. Y'all know the Blank Win eighty two song I'm my own worst enemy. I'm like, yes, blank two, you were on something we're all hypercritical of self. I mean, that can be a mirror, but that can that can be in the business world, that can be parenting. I mean we all with parenting. It hits hard. Yeah, Carly said it like you've got to extend grace. But that includes ourselves too, And I think that talking about it gives the imposter syndrome less strength, less validity. Maybe yeah, well, I mean certainly when we were sitting across the table and I heard you know this CEO that she just mentioned say that he has struggled with imposter syndrome. It instantly humanized him. Didn't make me think less of him, certainly probably more of him. It elevated my you know, I put him on a pedestal already, but it certainly elevated and then calmed me down like I didn't need. I didn't need that. I wasn't nervous in that meeting. But to your point, it just made it more human, which is really at the end of the day. But we're all what we all are, right, We're all just trying to do our best with what we've got. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly, Man, what a good conversation. Screw you, imposter syndrome. We're gonna keep talking about you so that you don't have strength over us to talk about it with others. Yes, that conversation.

Yes, yes, I am already so when this episode airs, um, I will have baby James. But when we're recording this, you know, obviously I don't have him here yet, but I am already mentally preparing for the impostor syndrome of who am I to be? A mom of two? You know, like like, yeah, I got this, I got it figured out with one. But like I who decided that, like I could do this it Literally I have already started thinking like ways to just talk myself out of like a spiral like that. Yeah, it's good that you're recognizing that self talk ahead of time because hopefully that won't be a space that you live in too long when he's here, right because as you know, as a mom to one already, you're going to be given exactly what you need to to be the wonderful mom of two. But but knowing that if that's something that you're going to struggle with, then you can talk about it in this space, talk exactly your husband, talk about it with loved ones, and go help me. You see me spiraling, you know, encourage me. Yeah, that vulnerability will go a long way. It really does. It really does. Like back to what that CEO said, just like that one small comment that probably was a fleeting thought to him that he struggles with imposter syndrome has made such an impact on you, you know, like people's words matter really Yeah, absolutely,

Yeah. Aaron Conjuran is my go to for planners, stickers, and other organization accessories. And can I tell you something cool. Think Happy is officially an Aaron Conjured affiliate. That means, when you shop Aaron Condran via the think Happy link, this podcast benefits by receiving a small commission from your purchase. You can shop my Aaron Conjured favorite via the link in my Instagram bio or on think happy code dot com under the shop category they keep for supporting the think Happy podcasting, Happy planning.

Okay, so a little bit of a pivot. So we've been talking about imposter syndrome. Now we're putting you aside. Imposter syndrome. We have no time for you. You are not welcome in our lives. I want to talk about wins. So I am a huge advocate for celebrating wins, big wins, small ones, especially when working toward a goal. I think that, you know, celebrating winds just as a great way to keep a pep in your step, to keep that momentum going. So how do you guys celebrate your wins? I'm gonna tea this one up nicely for Carly because I I came up in the corporate scene where once that deal was was done, I mean you did too, But I've been in business development for twenty years, and so it was like, okay, well there you go, onto your next that never even happened, out on the back and out the door you go. So Carly really challenged me a couple of years ago in the most loving way possible. She said, Ali, you do realize you're you're not really living in the wind very long. And I appreciated that candid feedback. See I do have thick skin because that, and apparently I'm very direct. I I promise you it was delivered with such kindness, but I received it because I needed also hear it, Like we're growing a business that does need to celebrate wins. There's a lot of wins all the time. But I will promise you that that really constructive feedback she gave me that day really did change my thinking. But because she's done a better job of that, I will let you answer the question in that win no pressure. I think that it's really just acknowledgement. I think, you know, And I hope and maybe our team will listen to this and and disagree. I don't know, but I hope that we we do a good job of acknowledging Not only when you know, a deal is closed and the big win happens um internally, But and I know I talk about it with with my team. Sometimes the wind doesn't look like a big deal right. Sometimes it's it's earning someone's trust. Sometimes it's going above and beyond. Sometimes it's um doing the right thing. You guys, there have been times, and it doesn't happen often, and I'm not here to like pat ourselves on the back, but there have been times where where we have walked away from money in order to do the right thing for a candidate or right where we were quote unquote not winning necessarily, but it was the right on paper with a dollar sign, you know, in that traditional sense, but still a win, and you did the right thing the first time. We did the right thing the first time, took your own advice. I guess we do a good job of that. And and I hope that our our team would say, um, that we that they feel that we do a good job of acknowledging um the little ones as along the way as the big ones. I think that acknowledging the little winds actually will go farther than acknowledging the big wins, because there's so many more little winds along the way, and you force yourself to become aware of those little winds that you might otherwise just you know, brush under the rug um to the point where, Um, when I'm like with a one on one client and we're talking about some sort of goal that we're working on together for them, the first thing we start every single conversation with is what's a win from between now and our last call, any win at all that we can celebrate. And it surprises me that time and time again, women sit there and they're like, what is something I can sell it? What is something that that I have done? But we don't move past it until they think of something, you know, and then all of a sudden they're like, wait, yeah, actually, I you know, I got my husband on board with helping me out with bedtime. Now you know that is a huge win, A huge win. Yeah, that, whether directly or indirectly, is going to help you toward whatever the goal is. You know, that's saving you energy in the evening that now you can like put towards something else. I don't know, I think you're celebrating the goals, the idea of goals. I think we assign this idea that a goal has to be massive and huge, Like there's something that other people would recognize as massive and huge exactly, but getting out of bed five minutes earlier, that's a real huge point. Go achieve that goal. But setting those small goals. I did that with breastfeeding. I was like, you know, let's let's do this. You know, we'll we'll commit to this length of time and then when I met it and then then reset that goal. I love that because I felt accomplished and I was like, I know that I I did that, I made but I set realistic goals and I have to do that in work life too. We set some really big ones and that's fantastic, but getting super real about some of the smaller ones. They work you towards those bigger goals. Exactly. I don't I don't love that the world makes you feel like it needs to be seen or talked about. Sometimes those small, small winds are are good for our soul. The small ones are huge. Yeah, not all need equal either, So we're all going to yea or different speed or timeline. Amen.

I couldn't agree more so as we start wrapping up, But I would love it if each of you could share, you know, two or three, just a couple of goal setting tips that you guys have for the listeners. Who wants to go first? Should Ali go first? I feel like I feel like last time I called on someone knows Carly, so so I would strict you at the love. Yeah, well I think I kind of just touched on it, probably a proper segue. But I think for me, you know, I want to set attainable goals because I like to achieve goals. I I am achievement minded human um setting realistic goals. But you know, I have to talk about them. I'm a talker. I have to get my feelings out, I have to share, and so um, how do I attain those? You know, there's there's stuff that I want to do proversional sorry personally that bleeds over to the profession as we discussed, and so I like, I like that layer of accountability that I have in my in my peer community, work and in family. But um, I I do. I mean occasionally I will, you know, get out the pen and paper and like cop to it. But that is for me more on like a weekly basis. Okay, I'm not the person that gets out the junior Ey calendar and rolls through like I love those notebooks that are so pretty and you want to like keep them, you know, organized and write with your best print all year. It's just not worked for me. I think if it doesn't work for you, then it goes back to being attainable. It's not sustainable, you know, So how can you attain something that you can't sustain? Yeah, yeah, that is so true. So I'm you know, I'm kind of small chunk, small achievement um. And then a couple of long term goals, like I love to coach my kids softball, but I have to have Carly's buy in a little bit, Like I don't have to get that, I don't have to get her to sign off on me doing that, but I have to go like for these couple of months, it's going to be a little extra crazy, you know, are you Are you good with that? And so we talk through that. I mean, that is definitely a personal goal that bleeds to professional Absolutely. Yeah. I mean I think I would just echo on that, you know, on what she's saying. Having an accountability partner, whether it's you know, you're trying to your weight loss journey, or you know, some people in my life, you know have a sobriety journey that they're on and and having somebody to go to to to say I'm struggling today or whatever it is. You know, having a trusted person or multiple trusted people that you can tap for encouragement. Um. I think that that is the biggest thing. You know, letting people know what you're trying to achieve and then asking them boldly to hold you accountable. That is so hard for me. I mean, I'm that would be my tip. I need to take my own advice, right. I'll tell Ali, like I want to do this thing, or I'll tell my husband I want to do this thing. But I don't really want you to tell me when I'm messing up on it because I want to know so, but that's obviously not going to help me get there. And so that is where I find um. Goal, Reaching goals is is hard because I need that accountability. I need that constructive feedback. It's difficult for me to receive, but it's still important for me to receive, especially when delivered with love and you know from somebody who who is a trusted person who knows they have your best interest in mind. And I think that accountability partners or people, it can be more than one person, right, Like you can have someone that you go to when you know you're really struggling and you need them to help, you know, get you back on path and remind you why you're setting out to do this goal. You can have another person who you know, going back to your weight lost journey, who gets up with you at five thirty in the mornings and like goes to those exercise classes with you. You know, Like those can be different people in your life. Like utilize your community. I think one of the one of the best pieces of advice that we we were kind of organically introduced to but at one point in our business um, you know, our business coach came into the scene, and yes, you have to pay for that resource, but it was very valuable and we and there was so much level setting that was able to happen through that.

So, um a good takeaway. Your community is great too, But in that in that specific season where we had some big decisions to make regarding continuum, that was super helpful too. And the transparency and authenticity was was just so welcome. Yeah, sometimes paying for something like that you're actually therapy it. Yeah, but like it's a way of serving yourself also because you're allowing this now, this new avenue of someone who really is like a professional at this and who is so great to now pour into you. Of note, when we first talked to him, I think the reason we hired him actually was because he talked about his failures. First. We knew that he successfully started a couple of businesses and made a lot of money in life. But I just think it is noteworthy that some of the failures were the things that were most attracted to. Like, we have potholes ahead of us, like, let's let's circrevent those. Yea, how cool? I really like that. Um okay. Favorite question of the conversation, do you guys have a life or happiness hack that you find helpful in your life that our listeners might want to adopt. To Carly's pointing at Ali to go first, that means that Carly's is saving the best for last, because my shade I love yours is actually why I want you to go first. I love that. Do you love them? Yeah? Okay, well I love it for you, Thank you and the plane, And then I'll piggy back on. So I do know myself very well one before I really get to it. Um, I like loved outdoors, and so I do I do find myself. This past week has been so beautiful in Houston. Are all right? I could like hear the train going by in the back of a call with Carly and and the team has just decided to work outside. So I think that's you know, um, that's a happiness hack. For sure. We have seen some fun happening at the office just by getting outside and people and having lunch outdoors. But my real life hack that that works for me is, um, I joke with the team, I'm like, if only the work day started at five am, I'd crush it. I'd crush it. My production hours are like five to six, Like I get more done in five to six, and then I could probably get done in like one to four in an afternoon. It's just I know, it's how God made me. I can't help it. But um, so I would advise people. I know you you probably hear these success books. I'm not that story like the rest of the day could just wheels could come off. But for me, it's like all of those shower thoughts. I can go execute on those with a cup of coffee in a quiet house on the radio, and we're good. We're good to go. I'm so we are so similar. So, um, this week is the first at the time of this recording, I keep saying, is my first week of think happy full time. Right. So now my family has this whole new schedule because of this change. Um. And so I tapped into my husband as a resource to help me with pick up and drop off with Eleanor and I had offered to, you know, do most of the afternoons, and I had asked if he could carry the load in the mornings, and he was like, is there a reason that you don't want the mornings? Like He's almost like, is there like is this tricky? Like am I getting myself into something Like? Is there like bad mojo with morning drop off? And I was like, no, it's just that mornings are my best time to work and I get the most done and I don't want to waste that time, you know, like sitting in the car, whereas in the afternoon, nine times out of ten, I'm already burnt out just because I used it all up in the morning. Um, that's so smart. Of you to recognize and then to ask for help. Right, thank you. This is where I can shine and I need your support to do that. Yeah, yeah, thank you. Differently I have we are like like I'm getting an email at one am, and I'm like, I have been asleep for maybe three and a half four hours. Yeah, oh yeah, you go to that early and sleeping late, because that's uh, that's more my jam. I mean I still get things done, right, you really do get I wish that I could get out of bed at five am that like, if there was one goal that I would love to reach, it's it's figuring out how to be an early riser. God did not wire me that way. But that is not what I was saying. I love it for her unless she's like, do you love it? I don't know that it's not, but for you, I love it. Friday PM. Let's be clear. Oh no, I am. I have been clocked out for hours, for multiple hours. Okay, Carly, what is your hack? Okay? So I think we've talked about it a lot um in various threads of this conversation already, but truly, it's really just kind of like letting go of the guilty let go of the guilt and just say yes to the things that the world around you is maybe saying don't say yes to. For example, it's okay, your team can handle it, your co workers can handle it. Um go be with your family, the most important thing. I mean, you know, life is so short. It sounds cliche, but we are not promised another minute, and so I would rather know that the people around me We're loved on, and time well spin and memories made. And it's not that we can always do that, and you know, work does have to happen, sure, but especially like, I'm so happy and I'm so grateful for this relationship, this friendship that Ali and I have at and and all of our team and all of the support at Continuum, so that we are able to say, y'all, I'm checking out, Like, honestly, I'm leaving this podcast today and I'm going on a ten hour road trip with my babies. And I'm not working the next three days. Should I be working? Sure? Are? Is there a ton of things to do? Of course, but I'm you know, they're out of school and and I'm gonna do it, and I'm not I'm not well supported, and I think as we grow, Like you know that there's the wheels are in motion without you. It's also very free. Yeah, but also we've struggled with that too. But I think I think just the fight the guilt and let it go. Yeah, you know that that would be my hack. I think I do an okay job at it. I'm gonna keep holding accountable to that. Thank you, And I'm going to do the same for you, because yes, you need to do it as well. Yeah. Yeah, So such good ones. Thanks you guys, Thank you for being here. What a good conversation. This has decided that you've gone full time into It's a big change for you, I'm sure, but it's going to be great. That's so sweet of you. I really appreciate that. Thank you.

Okay, so if the listeners want to connect with you, where can they find you? Yeah, so you can, Um, we are on Instagram at Continuum LP C O N T I N U M and then you can check out our website the links on our Instagram and we also have um pretty active on LinkedIn, very active on LinkedIn. Yes, there's lots of ways to connect and um, you know, I know we've we've talked about a lot, but we'd love to connect with with any of you guys. If you all have any other questions or concerns, or if there's just any way that we can can help you all, we'd love to hear from you. They truly are amazing, guys, truly, truly are well. Thanks for being here, Thanks for listening you guys. Um, I hope you enjoyed today's conversation. I have no doubt that you did. Actually, um, don't forget share it with a friend while you're at it. Just go rate, go review, do all of the things, and y'all I will just be back in your ears next week with another episode of the Think Happy Podcast. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for joining me for this week's episode of the Think Happy Podcast. If you just can't get enough, find me on Instagram at think Happy underscore Co. That's CO, and online at thinkhappyco.com See you next week.