EP 83: Creating Fluid Routines

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Welcome to the Think Happy Podcast. I am your host, Kaitlin Cuevas. That's me. I feel like I said my last name weird. There, like with a twang. I don't usually have a Twang. My name is Kaitlin Cuevas. Yes. Much better. Untwing like. Okay, today is the first solo episode since we had the four week break. I love doing solo episodes for you guys. Okay. I love also doing interviews. It's so much fun chatting with other women, getting to hear about things that they're passionate about, getting to learn from them, just getting to connect with women, really all across the world. I love that aspect of the show. But there's something special about just these solo episodes where I feel like I almost just kind of feel like you and I are sitting there maybe, like, drinking a cup of coffee together, just chatting. And I don't know, it sounds cheesy, but I love pouring into the think happy community, really via these one on one episodes, because I kind of feel like you get a little peek at who I really am and my life and the things that make me tick. And I don't know, I just feel like it's a little more intimate.

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Just like you and me on these one on one episodes. But I wanted to start today's episode by just giving you a couple of life updates since we did take the break. The last two episodes that you got were interview episodes with Hannah, and so, yeah, I just wanted to start with a couple of updates. I say that, like, I have things to update you on. I really don't have that many things to update you on. Okay, so we'll start with Eleanor. Let's see. Here she is in summer time, obviously, because this episode is being recorded at the end of May but will be released in June. She signed up for the summer program at her mother's day out, so she's there five days a week, but she comes home at 02:00, so we still get the afternoons together. It's actually a really great balance because I feel like I have time in the day to do work. I have plenty of time in the day to meet with my clients to do things like record episodes for the podcast. But I also have lots of time in the afternoon to be with her. So that's really great.

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So that's an Eleanor update. Her vocabulary has exploded. She just makes me so happy. I actually had a dream the other night that she came out, or that she figured out how to crawl out of her crib and that she woke me up in the middle of the night. And so I'm sure that that dream has like some sort of foreshadowing to it, but yeah, that is what it is, I guess. So that's Eleanor James at the time of this recording, he's seven months, not quite crawling, but doing the practice crawl where he gets on all fours and rocks back and forth. He loves solids, he babbles all the time, loves to chitchat. So that's a little jamesy. James, he's down to two naps, which is really a game changer. Going from three naps to two naps just gives us a lot more time as a family to have family time in the evenings, which is especially helpful on the weekends. So that's an Eleanor update. That's a James update. Oakley and I, we're planning on going to Mexico at the end of September. That trip will just be the two of us. My parents are going to watch Eleanor and James.

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We're planning on going for four nights. I really, truly am so excited. The best part about it is we're using points that Oakley has been saving up from his travels for work. So we're essentially getting to stay for free. And then we'll use credit card points to book our flights. So we're going to get to fly on points. I know it just feels free, even though to get the points, you spend money, but we're not spending extra money for those things, which is really nice because going into this year, we had said that we didn't want to spend extra money on travel. This year that we were really going to work on paying off the loan that we took out to add on to our house. So this is kind of a win win because we're not spending extra money to travel. We're using all of these points, but we're still getting a little bit of travel, which is just really great. And I guess those are my life updates for you right now. Guppy Doodle is just living her best life, being the big sister that everyone strives to be. It is lake season.

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We're spending a lot of time out at my family's lake house. And Guppy loves swimming in the lake. She loves jumping from the dock into the lake. There's three family, actually four family dogs now that Bailey got her dog, Hank, who's adorable, and Guppy is the only one that will jump from the dock into the lake. So that's her little claim to fame with the Dunlap dogs. Dunlap is my maiden name, if you didn't already know that. So it's the Dunlap family lake house. Yes. Okay, so those are the life updates. And now for a think Happy update I want to tell you about the newest addition to Think Happy Co's product suite, which is the Becoming Your Best You Course. Okay, so you've probably heard me talk about the Becoming Your Best You group program. If you have been kind of intrigued by that but not quite ready to jump into it, then this course is probably going to be up your alley. So this course is for you. If you want to learn how to identify time you waste and use unproductively. If you want to learn time management practices, you can start incorporating immediately.

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If you want to learn how to manage and prioritize your tasks, if you want to learn how to identify tasks that you can delegate, and if you want to learn how to build a routine that is sustainable and fosters being Your best you, okay? Those are all things that we cover inside of the Becoming Your Best You course. We learn all about tackling time management, time task prioritization delegating, building sustainable routines, and so much more. Okay? The best part of the BYBY course is you get all of the same exact training materials as the group program for less than $200. Yes, you get the same exact training materials, but none of the coaching that comes with the group program, right, for less than $200. So if you want more information on this, send me a DM on Instagram that says by course and I will answer all of your questions, help you get set up, and we'll just take it from there. Okay. So with that being said, let's get into our topic for today. Today we're going to talk about a really important aspect of routines. And I think that this aspect of routines actually gets overlooked, and that is fluidity.

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So, yes, routines help us to create structure. So it might sound off kilter for me to say that I believe routines should be fluid, but let me tell you why I believe routines should be fluid. First of all, we're humans, and as humans, we are fluid, right? So we go through seasons of life, we grow and adapt, unexpected curveballs, get thrown our way, and our routines should be able to withstand just the fluidity of life, right? So that's why I say routines should be fluid, right? Our life is fluid, so our routines should be fluid to match the fluidity of life. Okay? So that's the first reason. The second reason, allowing a routine to be fluid actually helps us sustain that routine for the long run. Okay? So fluidity allows us to give ourselves grace. Here's how. Let's say you have an exercise routine that primarily consists of going to indoor cycle classes. Let's also say that you and your family decide to take a beach trip over the summer. So you're out of town and you don't want to take time away from your family to go scope out a local spin studio. So rather you take some walks up and down the beach with your kiddos during the day and maybe you do a 20 minutes hit with your husband one afternoon.

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This is fluidity getting in intentional movement, even though it's not the typical movement of a cycle class or a spin class. That's part of your typical exercise routine, okay? So that's reason number two. Having fluidity in our routines allows us to maintain and sustain our routines for the long run. Now reason number three, for the same reason, fluidity in a routine makes it harder for you to let yourself off the hook. Okay? So it takes away the all or nothing mentality that is sometimes associated with routines. Now, we are all wired differently, but in my experience, for the majority of people, an all or nothing mentality is not at all sustainable and it's certainly not enjoyable. It can be a great way to get kick started with a new routine or with a new habit, or with a new goal, but I do not believe it's healthy to maintain. So let's go back to the same example that I just gave you of the spin classes. Being your primary exercise routine and being on this beach vacation with your family. So if you were in this same hypothetical situation and had an all or nothing mentality, I could see one of two things happening.

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First, I could see you missing out on family time to scope out a local spin studio. Or second, I could see you throwing in the towel with your whole routine saying, I can't do my spin classes, why I'm here, so I just might as well not exercise at all. Okay? With fluidity, you take out this all or nothing mentality that you would fall victim to were you not to have fluidity. Okay? You replace the all or nothing mentality with alternatives, okay? And in this example, those alternatives could be oceanside walks with sand between your toes. That's a great alternative for while you're on vacation. And I do want to say there's nothing wrong with if you are on your vacation and you want to take the time to scope out the local studio. If that sounds fun to you, then do it. That is amazing. This example that I was painting was maybe if you didn't want to take the time away to do something like that. So I would 1000% support you if you did want to go scope out the local studios and still stick with the routine and get in your spin classes.

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Okay, so that is the why routines should be fluid. Now let's talk about the how, okay? Because it's all well and good knowing that your routines should be fluid, right? Let's get into the meat and potatoes. This is how you actually create fluidity inside of your own routines. Okay? So I'm going to tell you three tips that I have for you. The first is to consider sustainability. In order to maintain a habit or a routine that you're going to stick with week after week, month after month, year after year, you must ensure it's something that is sustainable for you. It has to be maintained at the same level that you started at on day one as you continue on at day ten, at day 100, at day 1000. Okay, I'm going to say this again. This routine has to be sustainable for you. Not for your spouse, not for your best friend, not for your sister. It has to be sustainable for you. So tip number one on how to incorporate fluidity is to consider sustainability. Now tip number two, be specific yet flexible. Okay? Something else that might sound like it's contradicting itself. Let me explain.

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When outlining new habits, it is vital to be as specific as possible, but it's also just as important to be flexible. So when you are preparing to start a new habit or a new routine, your intention needs to be very specific, right?

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If you create a nonspecific habit, you have taken that out of the attainable category and you have put it into the unattainable category. Do you hear what I'm saying? When you set out without being specific on a new habit, on a new routine, on a new goal, you have taken that out of the attainable category and put it into the unattainable category. Yes. When you are starting out, you're starting out on something that is not even going to be attainable. You don't want that. That is why we need to be specific. Okay? Now plot twist. Also, when creating a new habit routine goal, you need to be flexible. Building flexibility into your habits allows you to acknowledge that sometimes life happens. Things outside of your control will get in the way. Be realistic with your expectations and be prepared for the unexpected curveballs that will be thrown your way. This will not only allow you grace but it's also going to help prevent you from giving up and prevent you from giving into temptations to quit. Okay, so tip number two, be specific, yet flexible. Now, tip number three, create a foundation. Okay, this is something that I work with many of my clients on, and that is creating a foundation to their habits and routines.

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Now, a foundation usually consists of one to three aspects of your routine that are the baseline, okay? These one, two, or three things should not be things that you have to work hard to achieve, and they should be things that you can build upon to then reach the ultimate goal of what you want your routine to be, right? So the beauty of having a foundation is it gives you a starting point. And this starting point is obviously helpful when starting out your new routine, but it's also helpful when you will inevitably get off track of whatever your routine is, right? This is your restart button when you feel like you have totally lost track and just are not on course with the routine that you had set up. So with those tips that I just gave you, I have a whole workshop that goes into a lot of detail on some of these tips, right? It is called the from Zero to Hero workshop. It's part of the workshop bundle that you can buy for I think it's 175. So I will make a note to link that into my show notes for you if you're wanting to dig even deeper into considering sustainability with your habits and routines, to making sure you are setting out with something that is specific but also flexible.

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So I'm actually going to jot down a note for myself right here, and that note is link workshop bundle. Got it? Okay, now, we have talked about the why, we have talked about the how. Now I want to share with you an example of something that I recently changed in my own routines. And thanks to fluidity, the adjustment was not tough. Okay, so historically, we would grocery shop on Sundays. Okay? Oakley and I started this even before Eleanor was born. And even with Eleanor, it still worked out great. We would start the week off with all of our groceries, with all of our meal plans, and it was just a great way to start the week. But once James came along, sundays at the grocery store started becoming a burden. Okay? So we tried it a couple of different ways. We would try to go as a whole family, and honestly, it was just a total cluster. Someone would always end up in tears. And if it wasn't Eleanor or if it wasn't James, it was me. And I'm super lucky in that oakley really does enjoy going to the grocery store. So once we tried the going as all the whole family approach, we saw it wasn't working.

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So then we decided to take the divide and conquer approach, right? So either Oakley would go or I would go, and we would make this trip while Eleanor was napping and whoever wasn't going to the store would stay home and take care of James while Eleanor was sleeping. But the problem with that was it just started taking up a big chunk of family time. And on Sundays, we really like Sundays just to be family days. So with the divide and conquer approach, we felt like we were missing out on family time, being just together. So going to the grocery store was really something that both Oakley and I started dreading, and it was just becoming not fun anymore, okay? And we couldn't figure out a way for either of us to do it in a way that made us happy. So we decided to switch up the close to eight year long routine and we now go on Monday mornings. Okay, so both of us work from home now, which is different than when we first started this routine, and because we both work from home, we have so much more flexibility than we did a few years ago when we were both at offices.

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So now whoever drops Eleanor off at school on Monday morning will then swing by the grocery store on the way home. And guess what? It is so much more enjoyable. I actually like going to the grocery store again, okay? The store is not packed, I don't have two kids with me, I'm not trying to rush out to change a diaper or to make it back home in time for nap time. This small Tweak has now brought both Oakley and me so much more happiness. You guys. On Sundays, we get to hang out at home or go on a walk or do whatever we want as a family, knowing that we're still going to start the week off with prepped meal or not prepped meals. Just being prepared meal wise and food wise. We don't necessarily prep meals, but we do plan meals and we do our grocery shopping based off of the meals that we do have planned. So to make this Tweak work, we had to make one small adjustment, and that was we had to make sure that we accounted for Sunday night and Monday mornings on our second half of the week grocery run.

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Okay? So we usually have two grocery runs each week, the big run and then a smaller run just to supplement and get us through until the next big run. And that smaller run is just much smaller and faster. So on that second run, we would account for what we would be doing for dinner on Sunday night, what we would be doing for breakfast Monday morning, and probably prepping for Eleanor's lunches or Monday lunch because we would make that either Sunday night or Monday morning. And it's so much better, it is so much better for this phase of life that we're in. So let me talk you through, just briefly how I was able to make this routine. It was because of fluidity, right? So let's go to this specific yet flexible part that we had talked about just a couple of minutes ago. So I kept the specific part of my routine, which was to start the week with meals planned and fresh groceries. Okay? But because I had flexibility with which day I actually went to the store, I was able to be fluid and tweak the routine to best fit how our life is now versus how life was when I first started that routine almost eight years ago.

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And I mean praise for fluidity. Praise for fluidity. I cannot say that enough. So let's wrap up this conversation. Today we have talked about why it's important for routines to be fluid. Reason number one as humans, we are fluid, and our routines should reflect that. Reason number two for long-term sustainability. And reason number three to take away the all-or-nothing mentality. We also talked about how to build fluidity into your own routine. First, consider sustainability for you. Second, be specific yet flexible. And third, build a foundation. And finally, I shared with you an example in my own life of tweaking my long-lasting routine of grocery shopping on Sundays to now going on Monday mornings. And that's a wrap for today's episode. If you found this topic interesting or helpful, please, please share it with a friend. I would so appreciate it. And if you have any follow up questions, if you want to brainstorm fluidity in your own routines, send me a DM on Instagram. I would be more than happy to brainstorm with you to help you have fluidity in your own routines.

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Adios, thank you for joining me for this week's episode of The Think Happy podcast. I would so appreciate it if you could leave a rating and review. And if you just can't get enough, find me on Instagram @thinkhappyco. That's co and online@thinkappyco.com. I'll be back in your ears next week with another episode of The Think Happy podcast.