EP 54: Enneagram Series | Part 1 | Gut Triad

Hello, Hello, I am so excited. Today is the first episode of the enneagram series. This is going to be so much fun, you guys. So here's how it's gonna work. For the next three episodes. We're gonna talk with women who were sent each angiogram type based off of the three angiogram triads. And if you're just totally lost right now, don't worry. When the conversation actually starts running, i'll explain what tryads are and we'll also do an overview of each type that's represented in the episode. Also, if you want more background on enneagram, there is a whole enneagram episode with um. Just like all of the details on all of the types. This episode is actually one of the most listened to episodes. and Yeah, if you haven't heard it, you should definitely tune in. It aired on April eleven. No, that was a total lie. It aired on April twenty seven, and it's called All about enneagram with Audrey Barnett, So go listen to that if you haven't already. Before we moved to today's episode, I want to quickly remind you that doors are about to close, not only on the final private coaching sale of the year, but also on getting a spot in general inside of private coaching. Inside of Yes, that is correct, come October one, I will not be accepting any new private clients until the new year. Now, with that being said, I'll still be working with all of my clients who book before then, I just won't be taking on anyone new. So topics that are covered inside of private coaching are always specific to your goals, your desired outcome. But let me give you a couple examples of some common topics. So we're talking things that fall into the life organization category. So that's going to be task prioritization, delegating, meal planning, time management, Another common topic is holding routines, such as morning evening exercise routines. We talk a lot about identifying and reallocating time that you waste or don't use productively during your day. We also talk a lot about creating and optimizing time for yourself. Okay, so that looks like time just to fill yourself back up. So if you are feeling something inside of you that's saying this could be exactly what I need or is this what I've been looking for, send me a DM let's chat, or just head straight to the link in my Instagram bio to schedule a call with me so we can talk more. So here's the deal. If you are ready to apply, or if you just want to read more about private coaching, had to thinkhappyco.com/coaching And if you have questions, if you have hesitation, if you're unsure, like I just said a second ago, I would love nothing more than to talk to you, answer your questions, chat about your hesitations, and just help you feel comfortable with moving forward. So if that is you slide right on end to my DMs. All you have to do is send me a message that says private package and I'll get the ball rolling for us. Um, I'll get that conversation started again. For info and to apply, go to thinkhappyco.com/coaching.

Alrighty, with that being said, let's roll with the first episode of the enneagram series. Enjoy you guys. So, you guys, we are here with our tryad interviews for the enneagram. I'm so so so excited. As a quick reminder, I just want to remind the guests what exactly tryads are, right, So, the enneagram has nine different types and then triads are three different sections of the enneagram model. So each triad consists of three different types. Triads tell us why we read a little words, why we react in certain ways to just like things in life. So, depending on your source, triads are named a little bit differently, but all the names like really have the same meaning behind them. So for this series, we are going to be referring to the triads as the head triad, the gut triad, and the heart triad. Okay, So for today's interview, we have representatives from the gut triad. Whoop Whoop, Party Party. The gut triad includes numbers or types eight nine and one. So I'm gonna get your quick overview of what this triad is and then I'm going to introduce you to our wonderful guests. So the most prevalent emotion for this triad is anger, and people who um fall into this triad they use their intuition to guide them a lot in making their decisions. And so I just want to be clear, this doesn't mean that people in this triad are just like always walking around so angry. That's just not the case. But anyways, these types are driven by the need for independence, both from other people and from the restrictive conditions of their environment. Their responses are very like guttural, if you will, so a strong gut feeling or intuition and forms their decision making and they react almost immediately to their surroundings. So these types want to live with autonomy in a clear cut world of good and bad, right and wrong, where they can be grounded. And I'm seeing nods across the room right now. If they feel bad, they usually blame themselves, and when freedoms are restricted, they get angry or sometimes they'll act with resentment or even in patience. And types in the angiogram gut Triad are typically very action oriented, persistent and natural leaders, which personally I find very true for the group of women women who are joining us today. So with that being said, I will introduce our guests you.

We will start with Jordan's. So, Jordan's welcome to the show. Tell us who you are, what your type is and your wing is. Hi. I'm Jordan's. I this is my second time on Kaitlin. Yes, I'm very excited. I am a professional organizer and I have an episode before about that. I am in enneagram one and I'm a Wing nine. Do you want me to kind of talk about yeah? Tell yeah, tell us what that means, how how it looks in your own life. So enneagram ones, we really are big on like right and wrong and our whole thing is like we want to try to do things right all the time. so like a kind of can go towards the side of perfectionists. is the nickname for ones perfectionist. I think it's the idealist idealist, okay, yeah, or one Wing nine is the idealist. Sometimes it is perfectionist, but I think people try to move away from that where because it's got a negative connotation, does. But we're also super organized and orderly and um yeah that's kind of the biggest things. They're what I am, and you have the perfect career I did for that. It works very well. Yeah. I get to organize people's houses all the time, all the times. Yeah. Is there any part of um your type so one wing nine that you don't really resonate as much with or does everything you're like, Yeah, that's that's pretty much me. I was saying I was texting with Kaitlin earlier that I feel like once I figured out my ennegram number, I was like, Oh, all of these things makes sense. Like I'm very right or wrong, like very black and white a lot of times, and like when I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, so it just fits it does it fits? Yeah?

Next guest, Carly, Hello, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you my first time being not only think Happy but also a podcast period. We're so thankful to have you. Carly's my neighbor guys. She's amazing. We bought the house knowing that Kaitlin. Okay, Carly, so tell us a little about you, your type, your wing, what that looks like in your life? Yeah? Sure so um, Hi all my name is Carly. I am an enneagram eight wing seven So eight winks sevens are very or eights in general, I'll start there, um without the wing. Eights are very much into pursuing justice into again similar to what Jordan's said, right and wrong, but advocating for what is right and advocating for those who can't necessarily advocate for themselves. The nickname for an eight is a challenger, yes, and so um I often see myself acting as a challenger in good ways and in bad ways. Eight winks seventh particularly are very practical, but also like think creatively, um, dream big, and can be very idealistic, have like rose colored glasses with things. And I'd say, you know, we really do struggle to be emotional and vulnerable, right, which I very much see in my day to day in my life. You asked Jordan's what was something that maybe she didn't attribute to her numbernality treat and I'd say I was surprised to see the eight weeks sevens were creative and that is something that I am not. I am very black and white. I see things on like a binary scale very often, and so I think that sometimes to be creative you need to see outside of that. So that will be something that I will aspire to. Yes, but okay, so since I'm your friend, I get to say this. I think I view you as a creative person. Thank you. Yes. And so Carly is a type of person who like makes beautiful gift baskets and like she oh you're you're painting or um yeah, the postcards that she she makes and stuff like that, and so I think it's interesting that that's something that you don't necessarily see in yourself. That was surprising for you to learn about your your type.

That's so interesting, guys. This stuff is so fun, so fun. I need to give a quick shout out to Kaitlin with happy because I only started writing postcards and decorating postcards to people because of my one on one coaching sessions with Kaitlin. So huge shout out. It's something that brings me a ton of joy. And they're beautiful. I have one that is sitting on my desk. Yeah. okay, guys, So are enneagram nine came down with COVID, so she can't be here with us today, but she did send in some of her responses to what we're gonna be talking about, So I'll fill in, um with some of the and put that she gave. Her name is Haley. She is an an enneagram nine. And yeah, gosh, here let me tell you guys, just like a short little thing about any enneagram nines. I have to scroll to where it is so enneagram types nines. They learned that allowing their feelings to build up inside and cause emotional meltdowns can take a mental toll on them, rather than voicing their concerns and expressing their emotions about problematic behaviors. For them, expressing and prioritizing their wants is very important. Um. All fill in some more of the blanks with nines, you know as we keep going on. gosh, I should have been a little bit more prepared you guys to tell you guys specifically about nines, but I'm not. They are the peacemakers, and they're called the peacemakers because they can work with opposing people to hear and understand each side of the story. They're really great um in resolving conflict. Nines can typically feel mentally exhausted. Which for Haley, I could see that true. She's an entrepreneur, she has three kiddos, she I mean, Haley is just a great person. They they're good to negative situations. However, a lot of times it's at their own cost. So I could see definitely Haley being someone like that, like taking that load on for herself. So as we get into some more of these questions that I'll be asking Jordan's and Carly, I will fill in some of the blanks with Hayley's responses. Also, Hayley, we miss you and we hope that you're feeling better. Okay, you guys, So let's dive in really to you know, y'all's try ad the gut, tryad. So, the emotion that's most prevalent for you guys, like we had mentioned, is anger. So I'm curious to hear from you guys how each of you handle feelings of anger, maybe like how that presents itself in your life.

Yeah, Carly, do you want to go first? Sure, I'm happy to. I think going back to what I was sharing, earlier about it's not really feeling um emotionally available. Anger is is a huge emotion that I think, we experience a lot but don't necessarily attribute as an emotion but rather as a reason. Okay, so feeling like, oh this is unreasonable, which makes me annoyed, and I'm going to say something about it, right, So when I feel angry, I will very much talk it out, whether it is anger to in response to an activity or an action, or anger toward or frustration toward a person like, I want to talk about it in that moment um. And again I can really be I can separate my emotion from um what I am saying, and so it can come off extremely cold when I am saying something. So I'll address it and then I want the other person or whatever it might be, to come back and also unemotionally reasonably talk to me. I'm married to a three, and so that hasn't always happens. Threes are very external seek validation externally, and so that can feel very difficult when an external source is having a conversation about something that is uncomfortable. So I've really had to learn to step back and take some time um which is not again being a part of the tryad not something that I am good at. I am very quick, um with how I deal with anger, right right, that's so interesting. So I'm a three also yeah, and so Carly's husband's name is John, and so I could like definitely see how he would feel uncomfortable in a situation like that, like trying to have a conversation like that. And it's interesting because that what you just described is how I strive to have conversations. Actually, for a while I had mistyped myself and I thought I was an eight wing seven. Also yeah, yeah, so this is all especially getting to talk to you, It's like very very interesting for me.

Okay, Jordan's so how about for you? So enneagram ones, Typically anger doesn't come out like the same way that it comes out in an eight, um being we are also not super emotional, and so it comes out as resentment a lot of time. So for the longest time, I thought I just didn't know how to be angry, and I thought I was never angry, but I can be very resentful. So that's kind of how it comes out a lot. And I'm also a wing nine and so it's kind of like suppressed resentment. A lot of times I try to hold it down and figure it out, and it like you were talking about with the nines, it kind of explodes a lot of times. There's tears a lot. That's when it comes out. We can all relate to tears. But that's typically how it comes out with me. Is it comes out in a lot of like resentment. Um, it's ones. We don't feel comfortable like showing anger a lot because it gets away from almost that perfectionist way of being and so and it seems on that right and wrong scale. Anger especially this gets into a lot more. But growing up as a female, when I did, anger was seen as like not an emotion you need to show right, So that that's kind of how it comes out with ones. Is a lot of resentment. And if you are a female, a lot of times it can be shown that you don't show it right right right, So like your go to would be like let me just like shove this down, hide it, pretend like it's not there, yes, until like you can't any anymore and it just the boiling point exactly, and then it comes out. But it's a lot of like I notice a lot of times when I'm starting to like get overwhelmed with things or things are happening, that resentment starts to like creep in, and I keep trying to push it down until it comes out the explosion exactly. And so for nines, I did jump ahead a little bit when I was telling you guys a little bit about nines. So, but specific to nines and anger, um, you know, kind of like Jordan was saying, they allow feelings to just build up inside of them, which can lead to these emotional meltdowns or just like take a total physical mental toll on themselves. Where maybe it wouldn't if they were able to voice their concerns or express their emotions. But you know, for Nines, they find that difficult. So, you guys, while I was preparing for this conversation, I stumbled upon some tips to help people in the gut triad overcome there like this feeling of anger. Right and so, there's like six or seven here. I'm gonna read them off, and I really want to hear from you guys. You know, if you do any of these in your life, if you just had an moment, you know, like, tell me your your feelings around this. So some of those tips are physical activity, making a list of possible solutions, stepping away to calm down, writing down your response first, expressing your feelings using eye statements, um, thinking about the last time you aid her drink, and then finally realizing that not everything is personal. So Jordan's did what are you? What are your thoughts with those? So? one we actually use in our house all the time, and I use SO. I have three children, two of which can talk and respond, and one of which we'll see. He's only five, but he could potentially be an angiogram one. Okay, so he's very perfectionists. But we step away and take deep breaths all the time. I've worked with him a lot. He gets angry at his younger brother quite often, and a lot of times he'll be like, can I go in my room and listen to a book and take himself away? And we've worked a lot so kind of an AHA is like a lot of things I'm teaching my children I should probably be doing myself. But if I am with my kids and feel myself like getting upset, I do step away for a moment and that is like a big one for me. And then the physical activity. If I do not work out first thing in the morning, it does not like that sets my day up so well. Like taking a moment, working out first thing in the morning, getting myself centered before everyone else, really, I think is a big thing and kind of helps if anger is building up or anything is building up, just like as an outlet. Yeah, exactly, what about you, Carly?

So I think, the last piece that you talked about was not taking things personally that a lot of times, Um, that's something that I have to remind myself, like, oh my gosh, this is outside of ju++

myself, Like it's not an attribute that is like specifically toward me, but rather a situational peace and so that is something that I very often have to remind myself. And then I loved that you were talking about my statements. I'll take a short spin on that. And again I mentioned my husband and I have very different uh styles of addressing anger and conflict, and so we've really come together to norm at the beginning of any challenging conversation. we are a team. And so instead of it being a statement, it's more of like, what can we do together as a team. How are we approaching this as one versus you know, as two separate entities. So I love the I statement, and then I just take it one step further and say, especially when you're working with a part or with your child, y'all are part of a team. And that's really helped us when we talk about, you know, sometimes difficult conversations. I really like that, you know, and and I think what I like so much about it is like, especially with a partner, it helps you feel just the reminder of being a team and that you're not on two separate sides like um, like headbutting or like working against each other, Like the ultimate goal is to come together, to work toward a solution together. That's right, And especially as a challenger, like I need to remember like we are challenging whatever it is together. I am not challenging you. I We're working together to move something forward, right, right. That's a good one. Well, I think off of that too. That can be really helpful for enneagram ones were super super hard on our selves. I don't know if it's in the same way we're very hard on ourselves, like remembering like you yourself are like you're in this together, like you're not trying to battle yourself through everything which can happen. Yeah, No, that's an interesting like take on that. For sure. I could see that because I think are parts of ones that I resonate with. Is like definitely the being so hard on yourself. and I think that at least for me, taking a step back and looking from a bird's eye view at a situation that helps me personally as a three, which isn't part of y'all's triad, but definitely it can because like as a one, my first instinct if anything goes wrong is like, I'm going to be super hard on myself. This is something that I and so taking a step back from that I think can help. Yeah, which I think I saw nods from you when I was first introducing the I add and had touched on some of that. Yes, yes, okay, So moving right along. So the next thing that we're going to talk about our levels of health. and so if you're familiar with enneagram you know, levels of health is a phrase that you're probably you know, already familiar with. If you're not as as familiar or if you're newer to enneagram levels of health. There are three levels. When someone is healthy, when someone is average, and when someone is unhealthy. So these levels of health are definitely mental not not p*ysically feeling unhealthy. And it just really hits on you know, like when you're in a great space, this is how you could be reacting. When you're in just kind of like a so so space, this is how you could be reacting. When you're in a not good, stress, overwhelmed space, an unhealthy space. You know, this is how you could be reacting. So I'm going to summarize I can't remember who went first last, so Jordan will go with you first.

This time, I'm going to summarize the levels of health for number ones and I would just really like to hear, you know, like what this looks like actually when you're living it out in your own life. So when level when angiogram ones are healthy, they're able to let go of the belief that they're in a position to judge anything objectively and are able to approach life without emotionally reacting to it. They also paradoxically achieve their basic desire to have integrity and to be good. So for you in your life, what does that look like? So, I think the biggest thing that I've noticed when it's like healthy versus unhealth healthy and I think about this as like mentally healthy and unhealthy stuff like your angiogram. But the biggest thing when I'm healthy, I am not judgmental at all. Um. I worry sometimes that like because of like how structured I am, I can come off as judgmental, But like I in my mind, I am not at all Like everyone like is doing their best. Everything is trying. That is Like the biggest thing that I notice when I'm healthy is like other people can make their own decisions. They're all doing great. that kind of thing. And like you said, like being in a healthy place almost makes it easy to like achieve the ultimate desire of an innogram one, which is like have integrity and be good. It's so easy because you're so like accepting of everyone. Yeah, yeah, that's great.

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forgot to mention that these levels of health that I'm using for summaries are from the Instagram account. It's called enneagram and Coffee or Coffee and enneagram. It's run by a girl named Sarah Jane. So I did just want to give credit to her for for summarizing all of this so beautifully. okay, so back to you. Jordan's so average. It's gonna look like for ones, they can become idealistic, focusing on improving everything. may take on the role of crusader or advocate or critic um explaining to others how things should be different than they actually are. So, yeah, what's that like in your life? So this is when it kind of starts going into like not only like seeing the difference between right and wrong, but like I'm starting to be right, and you, if you're doing it differently, you might be a little bit wrong. It's kind of how that starts um in my life personally, I start to notice this is this is when I start to see like every little thing wrong in my house. I start to become hyper focused on making sure my house looks perfect all the time. When I start to do this, this is when I start to know, like, Okay, I need to take a step back. Doesn't always happen, but since the start of it so like a warning signal. But when I start to hyper focus on something and want it to be perfect, that's when we're starting to move towards when I'm in a healthy space. It's like, okay, well, like this mess again. I have three kids and a husband. They all clean up at various different levels. But I can like let things go and I'm like, it's okay. If this isn't put in the exact right. Then when I start wanting to like reset the playroom, like okay, we're we're getting in a place where like, okay, I need to take a step back. But I start going into hyper focusing. Okay, okay, super interesting now for unhealthy Jordan's laughing for unhealthy Okay, can be self righteous and tolerant and inflexible, use the world in black and white, right and wrong, with the idea that they alone know what's true and they are in cream simply judgmental while rationalized, rationalizing, say that three times fast their own actions. So, like I said at the beginning, the first one is like super judgmental. I mean I remember when I just had one kid and being really judgmental of someone giving their kids screen time. And I was like, but I only do it at this certain time, so it's fine, who knows when they think of someone on Instagram like I don't know them, and then I would get really judgmental about that. The other one that really resonates is when I become intolerant and inflexible. So I was laughing because I could feel it, as I said, I'm we're in a space right now in our house. And uh, this morning I had texted my husband he was Astro's game last night, and I was like, Hey, I need you to be downstairs by seven. It's when the kids get up seven oh one seven oh two. And I noticed when I am like seven o'clock means seven o'clock, I need you down here. That is like when I am not and I'm not flexible, like I have no idea. When he got in last night, like I know nothing. Apparently something's wrong with his car. I don't know. I did not care in that moment. I was like, I said seven o'clock, and he will come down at like seven o two. Sometimes I'm like I said seven o'clock, just you're late. So that is like I become very inflexible and I'm like if I said this, this is what needs to happen, and I iced it. Like mainly like with my husband or my kids. I notice I'll get frustrated with them for things that when I'm in a great space I don't care about. But like all of a sudden, like you went and got something else and didn't put your shoes on. Why did you go do something else? And instead of putting your I asked you put your shoes on. Why didn't you put your shoes on? It's easy to put your shoes on, It's not so easy. But that's the biggest thing that I noticed is that like in flexibility, when I become super super rigid and like things have to be done a certain way. I'm one of those people where like when I'm in this space, my house is spotless because I can only like I don't take time to sit down and like rest like I should do. No, I make sure everything is spotless. And this is how it's going to be. Yeah, so interesting.

Carly for an eight they release the idea that they have to be in control of their environment. They let down their walls and begin to heal their hearts and their inner child. For this, they achieve their basic desire of protecting themselves. They lean into being merciful and self confident, often becoming historically great. You're historically great to me. Oh my gosh, thank you. Guys. Going to start with saying, I very much realized I often do not play in this healthy space. You know, this is really interesting to me because there have been a lot of gentle reminders that I try to give myself around that I cannot control everything. So it sounds very similar to one one almost um in the idea that I can control my reactions often anger control my reactions, but I cannot control certain pieces um of my environment. So that was just interesting that that was the first sentence that you read off leads to a healthy eight. I also think, you know, I've been doing a lot of work on uh, healing my past traumas, and so that that's really interesting to consider. It has been healthy for me to do that. I think it's probably healthy for all enneagram And yes that person hint. But because I don't like to play in like the emotional space very often, t really has helped me to come to terms with some pieces of my life or some emotions of my life that like I might have talked away. So that's that's very interesting. And I think the closing thought here is, and this might be true for all people, all enneagram It is just that when you give mercy and grace t yourself, it's so much easier to give it to other people. And so that closing sentence that you were sharing about um, they lean into being merciful and self confident. I think, like you know, it's so much easier when you give grace to yourself to give grace to others nd so I can absolutely resonate with that. Amazing. Okay, so average, um we're talking. You know, eights are going to feel feel like they guard their feelings and their weaknesses while seeking to still be efficient um and sustinct to make the most of their time. Uh. They may deny their physical and emotional needs while working hard to be the provider and maintain a high level of performance. Yes, I think I am very average. Then after I think that that is where I live. I do. Efficiency and succinctness is something that I am very often. I think, if someone was described to describe me, that those would be words that they would use. I think with eights it comes across its can be very blunt and very to the point. And so I think that as we talk about enneagram eights, the reason why they're blunt into the point is because they do value. We do value efficiency is distinctness. But the way that that can sometimes come off to others can be harsh or blunt, which is very difficult. And then that piece where you said they may deny their physical or emotional needs. Hello, yes that is me, I promise I don't sound this nasily all the time sick because I have done just that. I've ignored my physical and emotional needs at work right now, we're going through just a busy season, and you know, being a high performer is really important to me, and so because of that, I am letting other pieces of my life, um kind of fall to the wayside. So that's really interesting. Yeah, and I think, Hello, my name is Carly, and I am average. Okay, but you're not unhealthy, which is good. Here's unhealthy. They're desperate to protect themselves from potential or real threats. They attack potential enemies before they can be threatened. They cross boundaries and lose touch with risk of physical pain and injury. Yes, so I think that this really comes I mean, um, if we're reframing or we're talking about anger as our core emotion, I can see myself, um very often when I am unhealthy, getting angry and using words to attack ahead of any other part of the conversation. So that looks like instead of I statements, you statements, it looks like something that might you know, really hit that person where I know that it's going to hurt, right, Like I am not proud of that, of course, but um, it really is like saying you statements. More, the conversation can even get started being very um, very reactive, which is gut um. So I can absolutely yeah understand that is what it would look like as unhealthy, right right, thank you?

Okay, guys. So Haley has some thoughts on these also. So for angiogram nines in a healthy place, they release the idea that their presence and participation doesn't matter. They truly connect with themselves and with others, allowing themselves to be impacted by the world around them. Through this, they actually achieve their core desire for inner peace, becoming truly serene and present. So Haley says that, in her life, this looks like, you know, no qualms about speaking her mind and or voice of reason between family and friends, naturally being empathetic to all parties. Um, people are drawn to seek her out as a shoulder to cry on. Um. Jordan knows. Haley also, I yeah, I see that same, okay. So for an average or when any Graham nine's are you know, falling into this average level of health, they fear change that could disrupt their peace of mind. They attempt to avoid disruption through comforting routines and the ability to tune out problems. They sweep their problems under the rug and express in difference two issues they may need to face. So for Haley, this looks like you know, status quo of you know, quote unquote going with the flow in any situation and just being complacent regardless of the scene. So an unhealthy ennigram nine they're gonna They may feel incapable of facing their problems, completely separating themselves from their conflicts. They may defend the idea that everything is okay and even resist all efforts to confront their problems. So for Haley, this looks like becoming reclusive and anxious, not speaking up due to fear of being opposed. She disappears into her home and becomes kind of sloth like she says, so she becomes lazy, finding comfort and comfy closed TV and junk food. That's really interesting, very interesting stuff. any thoughts about levels of health before we moved to the next stuff. This has been really opening. I found it interesting, Carly when you were talking about the unhealthy part is when the anger comes out, Because as I was thinking about it, I was like it's totally when I start to feel super resentful and it goes into like stuff in the environment I can't control, I'm a little more accepting that I can't control it, but I just you know, hold onto all the resentment. But that's when all the unhealthy basically behaviors happen, is when that resentment starts to build up even more before the explosion. Yeah, that's really interesting. And then I what im kind of something that I was reflecting on after I shared the healthy peace was eights in times of extreme health really sway or go toward um characteristics of a two which is firm and so um you know, talking about granting mercy and being helpful, right, I think are like go hand in hand. And so I think that that is very interesting to pick up on because you're very healthy, Um, you know, where does your enneagram And this would be a challenge to all listeners, like, when you're very healthy, where does your enneagram go toward? What does that look like? And how do you continue to pursue that and exemplify that and what you do? Yeah? Yeah for sure. Okay, So this next part, I mean I think is going to be kind of fun So I have a couple of scenarios that I'm going to present to you guys, and I would just love to hear um your thoughts on them. So the first one is, pretty easy. Just give us an overview of your perfect day, Carly. You want to start?

My perfect day is a day that is planned. Yes. Is so funny because it's a day that I can control. Right. So I think I would love um if the morning was reading a book, spending time with my dogs. Those are pieces that I don't see necessarily attributable to my angiogram number necessarily, but definitely plays into like healthy just healthy actions as a human being. And then my last half of the day will be going to work. But my job one thing that I didn't say when I introduced myself. I work at a nonprofit which enneagram eight in particularly enneagram eight with wings of seven do often work in social services or social responsibility in some way. UM. And I love what I do, and I think it goes towards it's often feel. I feel that they're doing their best when they are achieving high performance when they are advocating on behalf of others again plays into that justice piece there. And so I'd say my second half is just going to work, maybe you after work, spending time with my husband, um, which again is just like a healthy health anything for a person to do. Yeah, what about you Jordan's. So my day would also be very planned, a little bit of the control, but also like I just like when things are laid out, their planned, their well organized. Um. Honestly, I think my day would start very early in the morning with your workout, with my workout. I love waking up. I love working out. I've been really into yoga recently, which is very not me, but I really like it, just like the calming aspect of it. Um. So wake up, do a workout. This is part of what I do every day. But I wake up to a workout and I have my coffee and I read a book. Um. That's how I start my day every day. And I think that would. Then I mean, I guess I'll still get my kids ready for school. I would take them to school and have them taken care of all day. Not for me. I love them, but they're not part of my entire day. And then honestly, I would probably organize my own house, so I would still work, but my own house, get everything organized. Um, and then yeah, pick up my kids and play with them and just everyone in a good mood, everyone having napped. Well. Um, I do like to cook dinner. Um. It doesn't really happen all the time right now, um, and it's very quick and easy. But I do like that. I like eating meals that I've made at home. We'd all eat dinner together, put everyone down, and then hang out with my husband. Both of these days sounds so great. Hayley shared hers Hers is brunch or coffee with her husband, uh manny petty with close friends, lunch and afternoon playing time with the kids, no bickering, just smiles. And then a date night with her husband and friends. But we have to get home early because she wants to be able to tuck her kids in. Um. Just simple, a simple and easy day. And all three of you really outlined like a simple, regular type of day, which I think is so interesting. That all three of you outlined something like that that isn't just like this totally like oh well, my perfect day is gonna be you know. Well, I'm in Italy and I'm drinking wine all you know something like that, it's just like a perfect regular day. I really like that. Okay, next one, Jordan, you go first. How do you handle last minute changes of plans?

So this is something that's very different whether I'm in a healthy space or unhealthy space. I'm also a former teacher, and I feel like that kind of helped me handle changes in plans very easily. So I've gotten better at it. If I'm in an unhealthy space, it does not go well. But if I am, I can like go with the flow, make it work, change what I'm doing, um, and make it work seamlessly. Yeah. What about you, carly I don't handle change. I prefer not to thank you. When Jordan was talking previously, even about the time piece right of, I said seven o'clock and it's seven o two. Like change, or even just like minor flexes to the plan um are very difficult. And as an angiogram eight challenger, I have no problem saying no, no, no, we said this is the plan. What happened. So that's going to be a place again, moving towards away from average to healthy. That will be a place that I will continue to work on it. Okay. So for Haley, she says that she has learned to cope over the years, but it used to send her into a very unhealthy state, so crying, pouting, wallowing, she would freeze and be unable to like move just when presented with a change of plans. Now she gives herself a minute or two to pout, and then she tries to find the silver lining. okay, last one for these scenarios. What is something that gets you excited or happy that might seem strange to someone else.

Carly tell us a little about that. I think that's something that gets me really excited and happy. And I don't know where this comes from. Is I like to stay busy with activities where I am helping, almost to the point where like I'm constantly stressed. Like that's where I think that it is like weird. Like Um, over the weekend, we housed two dogs that we're looking for a place to stay, and then I was working with my team getting them all hooked up on our company retreat. And then Thursday came around, found a new dog that was following our male person. housed that dog My gosh, you're a sat so all of these things, right, and like I was internally living kind of in this like space of like internal stress. But I think that I seek out those activities are like those moments of stress because it's what allows me to thrive. And then last final piece of a thought here, which is well, hopefully I have more thoughts than one, but last piece there is just you know, as an enneagram eight moving towards like that healthy um mindset that enneagram and Coffee have laid out from their instagram is. I think that I probably do live in this like place of like helpfulness and provides inner stress because I don't want to sit with like my inner emotions right, Like it's don't like to process emotions. And so if I am constantly moving, constantly going like that feels really good to me because then I'm not processing emotions, but it also halts me and not being able to achieve like that healthy status. What about you Jordan's um so, I mean I probably have to answers to this question. I mean the first one would be like a beautifully organized pantry that don't care. Um. I do, in fact line up all of my snacks when I have the tell of it because I love it and it makes me so happy. And yes, the kids go in and grab one, but they are actually getting better and they don't mess up on my organization. That for you. But I think the second one, it's kind of like what Carly was just saying. But I love when a day goes perfectly as planned. My day, in fact, does not have to be like like every second. I don't have to be busy, like maybe part of the plan is like arrest something. But I love when a day goes exactly as my calendar sys Yeah, yeah, okay. So for Haley, she says, a resolution to conflict and very comfy clothes. Oh and hot Molly's the candy no fa ones are not about Hot to Molly's. I do like hot to molly are also like, which is weird? Good in plenties? What are those like? Black licorice? Yes, I'm not Jordan, I'm with you. I'm with you on this on both the Hot to Molly's and the good in plenties. Yeah, I don't know what my candy. I don't eat a lot of candy. I don't either, but right now I have been eating so many m&ms, so many m&;ms. I went to the store to try to big by um, like one of the bigger bags of them, and all they had was the party size, and I was like, well, shoot, I can't get the party size, but I think I should have because I bought like the individual like little paper bags of them. And it's just not cutting it. It's just not cutting it. Yeah, I'm more of like a cupcake person. When I was pregnant with my second um, I would go get four chocolate gluten free cupcakes from Crave for me and my two and a half year old to eat together, who he also does not like sugary stuff, so he would take like one bite and I'd be like, well, I have to finish it, and then I would eat the rest throughout the week. I love that. That sounds delicious. It was great.

Okay, you guys. So as we wrap up, my favorite question that I have to ask you guys is if you have a happiness or like life hack that you use in your own life that listeners might want to incorporate into their own. Jordan's you want to take us off? I mean, I think it goes into things that make me happy. But I think planning your day out. I think it just helps everything goes so much smoother, even if you have to shift things around, because not every day goes perfectly as planned. I personally like to do it on my computer so I can literally move a block over to another time and changes so then it still looks perfect. Yep, yep, that's the one coming out. What about you, Carl, I too love a good calendar of a good blocking situation. UM. So I second with Jordan, says I also, we'll go back to I think I have really become a lot happier as I've changed my mindset around like team versus individual And so I just encourage you know, all of us are a team, whether we know it or not. The person who's in front of you in traffic who's acting like a total imbecile is also, however, trying to get to one place at one time in a safe way. Right. So just reframing like, and this is tough for eights, but reframing like your mindset from like an individualistic mindset to a team mindset also another thing that eights do idealistic. I totally get that, but really just reframing um that we are team. Um, whether it is your husband, your kids, the person on the side of the street, whatever, What a good reframe. That's a really good refrain. Well, you guys, thank you so much for being here, you for having us. What a great conversation, What a great conversation. And you guys, I just hope that you enjoyed this episode. I'm sure that you did. I'm sure that you definitely had a few nuggets that you took away, whether you fall into the gut triad, if your partner does, if you have friends, family members that do um, I'm sure you took a thing or two away from this. So just thank you so much for being part of the think Happy community, and don't forget to share this episode with your favorite eight, nine or one. And I will be next back next week with another episode of the Think Happy Podcast. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for joining me for this week's episode of the Thing Happy Podcast. If you just can't get enough, find me on Instagram at think Happy Underscore Co. That's CO, and online at thinkhappyco.com. See you next week.