EP: 95 | Your WHY Behind Your WHAT

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Welcome to the Think Happy Podcast. I am your host, Caitlin Cuevas, and I am just so happy to be here with you today. If you follow me on Instagram or if you're on my email list, then you know that last week was quite brutal. So I woke up on Monday morning with strep throat, went to the doctor, I almost fainted at the doctor's office. Oakley had to come pick me up. It was a little bit embarrassing. That's fine, I live to tell the tale. But along with my strep came a super high fever. It got to be like, 103.8. I had an allergic reaction to my antibiotics. It was just a not fun week, to say the very least. But I am back, and strep throat is a thing of the past and good riddance. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. That was so brutal and, oh, my gosh, it was not fun. It was not fun at all. But here's a win from that situation. It did not spread to anyone else in my family. I'm like knocking on wood right now. I'm knocking on the top of my had. We quarantined me in the master bedroom.

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So I was in there for like three days straight, couldn't see or hug Eleanor and James, Oakley was just the best ever. He took care of me and the children. So three cheers, five stars. Gold star for Oakley. He really was the MVP. But anyway, yes, that is a thing of the past. I am back to 100% and so darn thrilled to be able to say that. Speaking of things that I'm thrilled about, I have a couple of announcements. Specifically, I have two announcements for you. So the first announcement is episode 100 is just around the corner, like in a couple of weeks, okay? So here's the deal. We're going to be celebrating episode 100 the entire week of October 1, okay? So giveaways will be happening Monday through Friday of that week. So that's October 2 through the 6th, okay? So there's going to be some giveaways from various ladies and small business owners that you have heard on this show before. So here's a little sneak peek at some of the giveaways. We are going to be giving away free coffee beans from Kirby and Luke over at Beans. We're going to be giving away a free session with Carly from Balanced Mom Nutrition, a free consultation with Katie Hilburn Interiors, a free DIY plan from Jordan over at Wildly Organized, and I will be giving away two weeks free inside of Think Happy's newest program community called Mom Life.

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So many good things. So here's the deal. You can start entering to win these freebies now, okay? Here's how you do that. To enter, leave a rating and a review on itunes and Spotify. Okay?

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So each rating and review on each individual platform counts as a unique entry. So that means you can enter up to two times. So here's what I need you to do. Take a screenshot of your rating and review and DM me that screenshot on Instagram to officially be entered to win one of the awesome giveaways. Now, be sure to screenshot before you hit publish on the review because it might take a day or two for the review to actually be visible. If you have previously left a rating and review, you still get to be entered to win. Just go scroll through the reviews, find yours, screenshot it and send it to me.

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Okay?

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Excuse me. So that is the first announcement, the giveaways celebrating episode 100 all week, that first week of October. Now, second announcement, the Waitlist for Mom Life is officially open.

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Okay?

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So Mom Life is a mom's only community and coaching program to help you optimize your time, get through your endless to dos, and build sustainable routines, all while keeping your cup full.

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Okay?

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So to get all of the info on Mom Life and the waitlist, head to Thinkhappyco.com/momlifewaitelist. So MomLife is a membership, right? Okay, so it's monthly, so there's no need to worry about long term commitments. Inside, you'll receive access to loads of on demand training videos, covering time and task management, building sustainable habits and routines, and keeping Mom's cup full. If you've ever taken like, taking care of babies or something like that, the course hub is extremely similar to the layout of that. So just picture that, except for instead of the training videos being about teaching you how to get your baby to sleep at night, it's about time and task management for moms and building habits and routines for yourself and for your family and keeping your cup full. So that's the first thing you'll receive all of those on demand training videos. You also get access to biweekly group coaching calls. So these are going to be great for getting support with implementing what you learn in the training videos into your real actual life and into your family's life.

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Okay?

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And then of course, daily group messaging so you'll get access to all of those each month that you decide to be a member of Mom Life. So hop on the waitlist. And here's why you should hop on the waitlist. People on the waitlist are going to get exclusive discounts and $300 worth of bonuses.

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Okay?

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I should also add that the waitlist is no strings attached. So if you get on the waitlist and then you decide you're not ready to hop into mom life, that's totally fine, no strings attached. But if you are on the waitlist and you do want to join when it officially launches, you will have access to early bird pricing, which is an $80 per month discount. You can use that discount for your first three consecutive months.

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Okay?

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$80 discount right there. And then, like I said, $300 worth of bonuses. You get access to the conquering screen time workshop, the from zero to Hero habit building workshop, the regain and reallocate wasted time workshop, and the sustainable routines mini course.

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Okay?

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All of those bonuses equal more than $300 in value. So again, for all information and to get on the waitlist, go to thinkhappyco.com/momlifelist. Okay, those are my two announcements. I'm clearly excited about them. But that's not what I'm here to tell you all about today. Today, I'm here to talk to you about your why behind your what. Okay, your why behind your what. Now, this is something you've probably heard me talk about it before. I actually go through identifying your why behind your what. This activity with every single client I have, whether it's in a group program or a private coaching program, right? So I often suggest that getting clear on your why should be one of the very first things you do when embarking on any form of self improvement, such as a new habit, a new routine, setting a goal, et cetera, et cetera. So what exactly do I mean when I'm saying that you should get clear on your why? What is your why behind your what. So let me start with your what. Okay, your what would be your new form of self improvement, right? So your habit, goal, routine, whatever.

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So maybe it's a new morning routine. Maybe it's a new stretching habit. Maybe it's a goal to cut back on your processed foods.

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Okay.

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Your what is what you want to accomplish. Now, your why your why is the meaning behind your new form of self improvement, okay? Why do you want to start implementing this? So why do you want to start waking up earlier? Why do you want to start exercising more? Why do you want to cut back on sugar? Why do you want to start journaling? Why do you want an evening routine? I think you're starting to catch on. It's the meaning behind what it is. It's the meaning behind your what. Yeah, your why, 9.99 times out of ten is going to be deeper than your what. Okay.

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It's usually some sort of bigger picture want or desire or need that you have, okay? So your why is what holds you accountable when things get tough, right? Because it's that bigger picture want, bigger picture desire, bigger picture need. It's what will help you overcome the lemons that life inevitably throws, it'll help keep you on track and on the path that you desire for yourself. Okay.

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And so it's important to be clear on your why behind your what. Because, again, 99% of the time, you'll find that your why has the ability to carry you through times when you feel like giving up or giving into the temptation to quit.

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Okay?

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When the shininess fades and the newness wears off from your what and the shininess will fade, the newness will wear off, you will find it much more difficult to stick with your what if you are not able to lean into a why.

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Okay, as I'm sitting here, I'm drinking the most delicious cup of Kirbeans coffee. Kirbeans is a wife and husband duo who turn their passion for coffee into a business. They are so sweet, and it makes me so happy seeing their business thrive. Now, let me tell you why Kirby's is thriving. To put it simply, it's because their coffee is amazing. Think Happy has had the honor of getting to pick a Think Happy signature roast. These dark roasted Mexico beans smell like a good day waiting to happen. When brewed, they create the smoothest cup of coffee you have ever tasted. And it is even still good after being reheated. If you're like me and frequently get pulled away from your coffee, you know that's important. And I have a special treat for you. Think Happy listeners receive 15% off their order of Kirbines. Head to Kirbins coffee. Kerbins is spelled Kirbeans and use code Thinkhappy at checkout for your 15% discount. Again, that's Kirbeans coffee code Thinkhappy for 15% off.

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So let me give you a couple of examples, okay? This first example I'm going to give you is from my own life.

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Okay.

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So, back in 2014, I completed a 70.3 miles endurance triathlon called a Half Iron Man. Yes, I said half because there is a longer version of this race. It is literally 140.6 miles. It is crazy. Anyway, so the event that I did, 70.3 total miles, it consists of a 1.2 miles swim, followed immediately by a 56 miles bike ride and wrapped up with a 13.1 mile run. Okay, that's a lot of miles. Now, while training, my dad, who was actually the one coaching me, would talk to me about the importance of having a why behind wanting to cross the finish line. So training is hard. Training is by far the hardest part of completing, or in my opinion, of completing any sort of endurance event such as this. There are endless early mornings. Your body gets sore. You might get injured along the way. You have to miss out on fun events with family and friends. It takes months and months and months of training. Okay.

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This is no joke. This is literally no joke. It takes months of sacrificing for your training, right? And so when the excitement of starting off training wears off, you need something bigger. You need something deeper to help you sustain the training that's necessary to cross the finish line of an event such as this. So back to the story. My dad, who was coaching me, would talk to me about the importance of having this why, right? This why to get me across the finish line and not just the finish line from starting the race on race day. Literally, this starting line begins your first day of training, right? And you do not finish until the day of the event, and you cross that final finish line. So I had a lot of time, a lot of training miles to ponder the idea of my why. And ultimately, my why was being able to show myself that I could do hard things, that I could set a goal, do the work, and accomplish that goal.Okay.

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My why was so insanely personal. It was all about me and showing myself what I was physically and mentally capable of. Okay, sure. Yes. The praise and the cheers and the astonishment from family and friends and strangers of what I was doing was really fun, and it felt really good. But truthfully, it was not enough to be the only thing that was keeping me going. Right. There is no one cheering for you when your alarm goes off at 430 on a Saturday morning to get up and go on a long training ride. Right? There's nothing fun about that. I needed to have that why. And I am so glad that I did, because that truly is how I was able to cross that finish line. So here's another example, and for this one, I'm actually going to use a technique that you can start using when you're honing in on your why. Okay.

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So this is kind of like segwaying into the second part of what I want to talk to you about here today. So here's this other example. We're going to use this technique that I call the why exercise, okay? And essentially what this is is you keep asking yourself why until you land on the deepest why behind your what.

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Okay.

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So for this example, let's say your what is wanting to start going to the gym three times per week. So here's what you do. You ask yourself why? Let's say it's because you want to start exercising again. Why? Because you want to lose weight. Why? Because you're unhappy with the way your clothes are fitting. Why? Because you know that you want to be a healthy person. Why? Because when you're healthy, you're able to be the best version of yourself for your family, friends, and most importantly, for you.Okay.

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So that, my friend, is pretty darn deep. So in this second example, your why might be, I want to start going to the gym three times a week. Why? So that I can step into being the best version of myself. Okay.

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That is what will help you get out of bed in the morning to go to the gym three times per week, knowing that you are stepping into being the best version of yourself for your family, for your friends, for you. Okay? That is what will drive you. Now, as I said, we're starting to transition here to a little bit more of the tactical part of today's episode. How can you get clear on your own whys? Okay, I have four tips that I'm going to share with you here today. My first tip is the why why exercise. This is what I just modeled for you in our going to the gym example, okay? Now, my second tip is to ask yourself a series of questions surrounding your what.

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Okay?

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Here's an example of what some of these questions might be. What do I hope to gain from my what? Okay, what do I hope to gain from my insert your what? Here's the second one. How do I plan on making sure I get the best results possible from my what? Insert your own what. Here's a third example, and this is a three parter. I'm imagining my ideal life, a life that I am giddy with excitement to wake up to every day. What are three words or phrases to describe this life? Part two of this question what is getting in the way of me having this ideal life? Part three of this question how does my what lead me closer to this ideal? So that's where the third part of that question is where you would insert your what.

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Okay?

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Now, questions like this will help you really dig into the feelings that you have surrounding your what.

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Okay?

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And as we already know, those feelings that you have surrounding your what are going to be what your why is made out of, right? Those feelings are your why. Okay, my third tip is to dig even deeper into your responses from those series of questions from my second tip. Okay, here's what I want you to do. Reread your answers and make a note of different trends that you notice in those answers, okay? Different phrases, different words that you use just over and over or that ignite a special spark when you reread them, okay? Those words and phrases are likely some representation of the ultimate feelings you have surrounding your what, aka. Your why. Now, once you have those words and phrases, write them down and keep them front of mind, right? Keep those so that you can see them so that you can constantly be reminded of the why behind your what. Now, my fourth and final tip here is more of a way to really make sure your why is resonating with you, okay? So once you think you have your why, you should be able to complete this following sentence with your what and with your why.

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So here's that sentence. My goal or habit or routine, my self improvement is insert your what so that insert your why. Okay, so the key to this sentence is the so that okay, so here's an example. My goal is to cross the finish line of a 70.3 triathlon so that I can show myself that I can do tough things. Here's another example from the going to gym example we were using. So my goal is to start going to the gym three times per week so that I can step into being the best version of myself for my family, friends, and for me. Okay, so let's start wrapping things up here. Today, we talked about your why behind your what. We talked about the importance of having a why, and I gave you four tips that you can use to help you hone in on your own why. Those tips are one, the why why exercise. Two, ask yourself series of questions surrounding your what. Three, dig even deeper into your responses from that series of questions. And fourth, be able to fill in the blanks to that sentence. Okay?

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Now, as I mentioned at the top of this episode, this is an activity that I go through with all of my clients. If it is something that you would like support in, send me a message on Instagram @thinkhappyco. I have a handful of ways that we can work together that fit all budgets, and I would love nothing more than to share those with you or just to give you some feedback on your own why. And again, before I sign off, do not forget to join the no-strings attached MomLife Waitlist. Go to momlife.Waitlist. And that is a wrap for today's conversation. I will be back in your ears next week with another episode of the Think Happy podcast.

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Thank you for joining me for this week's episode of the Think Happy podcast.

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I would so appreciate it if you could leave a rating and review. And if you just can't get enough, find me on Instagram at thinkhappy co. That's C o. And online@thinkappyco.com, I'll be back in your ears next week with another episode of the Think Happy podcast.

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EP 96: Overcoming Perfectionism, Procrastination, & People Pleasing | Part 1

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EP 94: The Art of Pivoting with Stephanie Ritz | Pt 2