EP 103: Finding Balance in Your Life (And is it Achievable?)

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Welcome to the Think Happy podcast. I am your host, Kaitlin Cuevas, and I am just so thankful that you have decided to tune in to this episode today. Welcome if you are new here. Hello again, if you are not new here. And yeah, I just kind of feel like today I want to dive in and, well, actually, before I dive in, I would love to give you guys a quick update on how James's birthday party went because it was last weekend. If you are on the email list, then you might have. I feel like I might have sent an email out about it.

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I definitely posted about it on my Instagram Stories. But anyway, the theme was touchdown James is one. And the whole party was in the backyard. We had football on, on a tv that we moved out to our back patio. We had so many friends, so many family members there, and Eleanor had the time of her life. James has. Oh, my. Like James and his chocolate cupcake. Let me just say, that was a true love connection right there. That boy was so darn happy eating his cupcake. And it was just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. Actually, I don't think his was not full blown chocolate. His did have chocolate frosting, but I'm pretty sure it was a vanilla cupcake. Anyway, that's besides the point. It was a great time, and I am just so thankful to be surrounded by so much love and so many people who wanted to come and celebrate not only James turning one, but let's be serious here, celebrating Oakley and me surviving a whole year of parenting. Not one, but two children. Not even children. They still kind of feel like babies sometimes. Although Eleanor is really feeling her toddlerness these days anyway.

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So I guess kind of with that being said, with James turning one, he also recently started going to Mother's Day out three days a week. And just with that adjustment, we have kind of entered into this transition phase just inside of our household. In addition to this transition phase of James going to school three days a week, me having the opportunity. I say that with a smile on my face, even though it's been kind of stressful, me having the opportunity to adjust my work hours to fit my childcare coverage time, and just me adjusting to being in my house by myself a lot more than I'm used to. In addition to those things, Oakley has also been very busy at work. He has been traveling a decent just, just way more busy with work these days. And that just added on top of this already kind of tough transition that we were going through. It's just felt like a lot. And that is kind of where my thinking behind today's episode came from. Because I want to talk to you about balance and specifically my thoughts on balance because I do feel like it has become sort of a trigger word these days.

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Before we go into balance and my thoughts on balance and all of that good stuff, I did want to quickly let you know that while the launch and rollout of mom life has paused, I decided to open up a couple more one on one spots for my private coaching to start before the end of the year. Okay, now really truly is such a fantastic time to hop into any self development, self improvement, pour into yourself type of program, whether it's with me or through some other outlet. So I want to share with you a couple of high points on things that you can expect from working with me and working inside of think happy. So you can expect to go from feeling like you're just going through the motions. To go from wishing your days had more structure, from struggling to getting through your endless to do lists and from pouring from an empty cup and move into having sustainable routines in place that you enjoy and that serve you and your family so well. And move into being able just to continuously check things off your to do lists and into enjoying downtime with your family and friends and feeling accomplished at the end of your days.

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And best of all, having the time and the energy to keep your own cup filled. Because you have heard me say it once, I will continue to say it over and over. We serve others better when we serve ourselves first, right? So in a nutshell, a think happy private program for you is for you if you're ready to build, implement, and sustain strong foundations and lasting habits in multiple key areas.

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Okay. Those key areas include creating routines, optimizing your time, managing your tasks, keeping your cup filled.

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Okay?

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So I want you to reach out with any and all questions that you might have about one of these spots. I would love to get on a call with you and just walk you through what things could look like for you personally. Right. Because this is the beauty in the private programs, right. It is between you and me. It is completely customized to where you are, to your goals, to what you are trying to accomplish. And so let's talk through that. Let's talk through exactly what working with me would look like. Seriously, no strings attached. Even if we just chat, that sounds like a great time also. So dm me on Instagram at thinkhappy_co. That's co. And let's get the conversation started, my friend. Okay, so now, balance. Balance. Like I said, I feel like this really is kind of a trigger word these days. And I've actually found myself guest speaking on a handful of podcasts recently, talking about specifically the word balance. And I feel like it is something that people are portraying as something that just cannot ever be achieved. And because of that, that we shouldn't strive for it.

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And this might be an unpopular opinion, but I just don't know if I believe that. Yeah, I just don't know if I can get behind that. So let me tell you why. So, I used to view balance as a 50/50 split between two things. Or like a quarter, a quarter, a quarter, a quarter split, right? Like this perfect split. This perfect balance. And then you might have heard me tell this story before. When Oakley and I were going through some of our marriage prep classes, I was in a conversation with someone, or we both were, who told us, one of the best things that you can take going into marriage is getting rid of the thought that marriage is a 50/50 relationship and moving into the thought that marriage is a 100 100 relationship. Right? Like, both parties give 100% no matter what. And so this notion showed me that balance is not necessarily this perfect teeter totter on a seesaw. No, think about it. A seesaw would not be fun if you were just floating halfway off the ground while the other person on the other side was also floating halfway off the ground.

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No, seesaws are fun when you're going up, down, up, down. Right?

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Like put yourself back in those little kid days on the playground, riding that seesaw. Up, down, up down. And so this is now how I view balance, right? It's a little give and a little take, a little bit here, a little bit there. I do not believe that there is anything perfect about it. In fact, perfection will forever and always be unattainable.

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Okay. And because perfection is unattainable, I think that is why balance has gotten such a bad rap. Right? Because there is this connotation with balance that it has to be perfect. But balance is not perfect. Balance is fluid, just like riding on a seesaw.

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As I'm sitting here, I'm drinking the most delicious cup of Kirbeans coffee. Kirbeans is a wife and husband duo who turned their passion for coffee into a business. They are so sweet, and it makes me so happy seeing their business thrive. Now, let me tell you why Kirbeans is thriving. To put it simply, it's because their coffee is amazing. Think happy has had the honor of getting to pick a think Happy signature roast. These dark roasted Mexico beans smell like a good day waiting to happen. When brewed, they create the smoothest cup of coffee you have ever tasted, and it is even still good after being reheated. If you're like me and frequently get pulled away from your coffee, you know that's important. And I have a special treat for you. Think happy listeners receive 15% off their order of Kirbeans. Head to Kirbeans coffee. Kirbeans is spelled kirbeans and use code thinkhappy at checkout for your 15% discount.Again, that's Kirbeans coffee code thinkhappy for 15% off.

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So that brings me to this second thought, which goes hand in hand with this seesaw analogy that I have now created and shared with you about balance. So, seasons, seasons of life, they come and they go. And that is one thing that you can always be certain of.

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Okay.

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Another thing that you can be certain of is that as a human, you are fluid. Meaning, you change. Your preferences change, you change your mind, you change your job, your goals change, your seasons of life change. And because of this, it only makes sense that balance will change, as well.

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Okay. And to add to this, I don't believe that balance only changes with seasons of life. I think it also has a tendency to change every day. But if you think about it, you're changing every day, too, aren't you? Your experiences from yesterday play a role in who you are today, and your experiences today will play a role in who you are tomorrow. It's natural. It's a part of life. And you get the opportunity to choose to see that as a really beautiful part of life. Right. We never have to start back at square one because we always have our past experiences. If we choose to, we get to constantly be growing and moving toward the person we ultimately want to be. Yes. You might have days where you feel this perfect 50/50 balance. Or a third. A third. A third balance between your kids your work, your relationships, your me time, whatever it might be that you're balancing. But what you'll find more often is this give and take, this seesaw teeter-totter action. And you might come to a season where your kids take more of your time and energy and you feel that scale tilting more towards them.

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But you know what? Your next season might be heavier with work or with nurturing the friendships you have in your life that fuel your soul. Feeling that perfect balance might not exist, but it all evens out in the way it's supposed to. I feel so extremely confident in that. And so ultimately, you get to define your own balance, okay? And that balance gets to be fluid if you choose for it to do, or if you choose for it to be fluid. You, my friend, are in the driver's seat of your own life. You. It is your life. That driver's seat belongs to you. So as I sit here in my closet, office, sitting in my pink chair, I'm looking outside of the window, it's like almost, it's 7:39 at night. I just put my kids to bed as I'm sitting here speaking to you through this podcast microphone. If there's one thing that you take away from this episode, I hope it's that you can have balance and that your balance gets to be whatever serves you best. Seasons come and go, and life will always be fluid. It does not mean that you are not doing a good job of balancing your life.

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If you feel an uneven divide, or if at times you feel one end of the scale tilting more heavily towards a certain area of your life, okay? That does not mean that you are not doing a good job. No. All that means is that you are fluid.

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Okay. You are human. So I want to leave you with three action items, okay? Now, these are just three tips that I have for you regarding balance, okay? My first one is to get clear on your priorities in your life.

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Okay. So I'm going to pause just for a second because I want you to think about that. Get clear on the priorities that you have in your life. And I'm going to say this again, because you are human, these priorities, they might change with new seasons of life, okay? And that is okay. But in the season that you are in right now, what are your priorities? Now, number two, get clear on the why behind your priorities. You've heard me talk about having a why behind your what. The why are those emotions behind what it is that you are aiming for or that you're trying to accomplish? Right. The why are those deeper emotions that you have behind your what? So your what? Here would be your priorities. Your why are the feelings that you have surrounding those priorities, the feelings that you have behind your priorities?

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Okay. And then number three is going to be to use your priorities to guide you in the decisions, both big and small, that you make throughout your days and throughout your weeks.

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Okay?

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So I'm going to say those. I'm going to hit them again super fast. Tip one, get clear on your priorities. Tip two, get clear on the why behind your priorities. And tip three, use your priorities to guide you in the decisions, both big and small, that you're making.

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Okay. Now, these priorities will likely be what you feel that teeter-totter with, and as long as you're using your priorities to guide you, you're going to be on the right track.

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Okay.

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And you're going to be using your time with intention. So with that being said, that is a wrap for today's episode. I guess this episode kind of also turned out like another TED talk like episode, I guess a few episodes ago. One, two, three, or four episodes ago, I released another TED talk like episode. So I hope you like these. Please let me know if you do like them or if you prefer not to have episodes like this. So to quickly review today, we covered balance and how it does not have to be a perfect split. We also talked about how our lives are fluid, how being a human just automatically means you're fluid, and how seasons of life come and go. And we covered how you get to define your own balance and how your priorities are what make up the elements of your personal balance. Right? So, my friend, thank you so much for giving me just some of your mental real estate today. I don't take that lightly, and I am so incredibly thankful for that. So thank you for you. And with that being said, I think I already said that, but I'll say it again.

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I'll say it a third time. Now, with that being said, I will be back next week with a conversation about finding your purpose and specifically about finding your purpose through your kiddos. Yes, it will be an interview. Part one will air next week with my sweet friend Rebecca. I cannot wait for her to pour into you guys. Yeah. Have a wonderful rest of your day. Adios. Thank you for joining me for this week's episode of the Think Happy podcast. I would so appreciate it if you could leave a rating and review. And if you just can't get enough, find me on Instagram at Thinkhappy_co. That's co and online thinkhappyco.com. I'll be back in your ears next week with another episode of the Think Happy podcast.