EP 108: How To Use Reflections For Personal Growth

Hello. Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome to episode 108 of the Think Happy Podcast. I am your host, Kaitlin and I am so darn happy and thankful that you have given me space in your ears today. I wanna start this episode by apologizing for any poor audio quality.

I got a new computer over Black Friday and I did not realize that the computer I got does not have a spot for an SD card. And typically when I record episodes, I record them like on this mixer device and it saves it to an SD card which I then send to Luke or not the, the SD card, I upload the recording from the SD card to my computer. I send that file to Luke who, is the guy that produces my show and we go from there.

That's usually why the quality is pretty good. But today we are doing good old fashioned, you know, working with what we've got. I am just recording this on a pair of headphones just directly onto my computer. So I hope that the content is, you know, so high quality that the audio quality just doesn't even matter to you. So we obviously I was just talking about Black Friday, depending on when you're listening to this episode.

We are in December. Wow, we are in December. We were home for Thanksgiving, Oakley and I hosted his family at our house. It was lovely. It was wonderful. We had so much fun. We're also going to be home for Christmas. We are just in a season right now where it is tough to travel. It is really, really tough to travel. Eleanor is about to turn three. James just turned one, really asking them to be in the car for anything more than two or three hours is, it's, it's kind of a nightmare.

And I personally turn into a nightmare. I am definitely not the best version of myself rolling into hour, five or hour six of a road trip with both of my kids in the back seat. Anyway, so the kids, they're gonna be out of school for two weeks and Oakley and I are planning on taking off a decent chunk of time around then also, we did that for the week of Thanksgiving and we had so much fun.

We got to spend so much time together as a family. We got to do fun holiday stuff here around Houston. And I am just really looking forward to closing the year out on a similar note, you know, having that time to really pour into the kids to really just like spark the light and the magic that is the holiday season just to spend time with them. And, I get to spend time with Oakley and our family and our friends and, you know, the holidays, the whole season is just such a dream in my family.

My mom is the queen of Christmas and it just makes the whole season so fun. We have a couple of annual lunches that we'll do. We'll have a couple of dinners that are planned. You know, we get dressed up, go to festive places. It's just, I know I've said this like 10 times already inside the two minutes I've been talking, but it's just so much fun.

Think Happy is also gearing up for the New Year. So I have been in 2024 planning mode lately. You might or might not have seen that. I've been doing quite a bit of research and just talking to this community to help me best prepare to give you what you need from me in the New Year, right? So just as a bit of a sneak peek, you can most likely expect to see some information, content, posts coming your way about physical and mental clutter.

OK. And how those two work together and how you comb through it all in a way that feels good to you and in a way that just sets you up for tackling it, not just for the short term, but for the long term, right? But actually, wow, I, I kind of teed myself up really nicely there. So, you know, this is the season tis’ the season guys for setting goals, resolutions.

You know, we're all gonna be thinking about starting the New Year off with a bang, you're gonna be seeing and hearing this left and right and up and down in front and back, it's gonna be surrounding you right. You know, new year, new me yada, yada yada, all the things, all the posts. Yes, there is something to be said about, you know, turning a new leaf on January 1st, but there's, there's really no need to wait.

In fact, my opinion, what's more important than when you start is how you start. Ok. So this brings me to today's primary topic, which is reflection. Ok? So before setting any new goal or embarking on any new habit, I always take a look at what has and has not worked in the past. So I'm super big on writing down goals. It is a fantastic way to hold myself accountable, writing them down also helps me to flush out the details and set up game plans on how to actually attain them.

It's something that I work with so many probably the vast majority of my clients on actually. But because of this, because I have my goals written down, it's really easy for me to start my reflections. Literally, all I have to do is just flip back in my journal. And so what I usually do is I'll start my reflections with reviewing the previous year's reflections.

And then that'll lead me to the resolutions that I set for the current year, which then ends up leading me to reflecting on those reflections and finally setting my resolutions for the current year. So I feel like that might have been a little confusing. So I'm gonna say it again maybe more clearly this time. So this year in 2023 right? I'm gonna start my reflections by looking at my 2022 reflections.

OK? So those were the reflections from my 2022 resolutions, right? So in 2023 I'm gonna start by reflecting on 2020 two's resolutions. Then that will lead me to the resolutions that I set for 2023 right? I'll reflect on those and then that will help guide me as I set out to set resolutions for now 2024. Ok. Wow. I'm really sorry you guys. I feel like hopefully, I didn't say that in a confusing way.

It makes sense in my head. I hope it makes sense to you. So leveraging this information is a complete game changer. Ok? Not only does it prevent me, not only will it prevent you from making the same mistakes repeatedly, it also allows us to build upon what does work. Ok. So I like doing this with any and all goals. So I'm talking personal, professional, family, financial, you know, whatever type of goal it might be.

This is an exercise that I always do. And quite frankly, I love doing it. I always look forward to it. Why? Because it leads me to set myself up for success with the new goals that I set. Ok. Someone recently told me when a flower isn't growing, it's dying. I am here to grow. I encourage you to be here to grow also. So starting with reflecting on the past and past outcomes and past goals is one way you can make sure that you're growing, right?

That's helping you to move the needle forward. It's helping you to grow up. You never have to start at square one. You always always have the option to build upon the past, to learn and make informed decisions and to set strong, realistic attainable goals for yourself. Ok? 

So in 2023 I set resolutions in nine different areas of life. Those are spiritual, personal development, health, romance, family, business, finances, fun and social, nine areas of life.

Yes, that is a lot. This was my second year in a row taking this approach and I'm thinking that I'm gonna change it up for 2024. I'm just at a point in my life, you know, my life is a lot different than it was a couple of years ago when I took on this approach of goal setting and that's normal. You know, we're humans, we're fluid. That's why I wholeheartedly believe that our goals should, should contain a degree of fluidity and flexibility, especially for parents, especially for moms. Right. 

So much of our day-to-day lives revolve around people other than ourselves, it would be silly in my opinion to set a goal without including a degree of flexibility in it. Anyway. So no matter the fact that I'll be taking a different approach, the fact is this is the approach that I took for 2023. So this is the approach that I'll be reviewing.

So for each of the nine categories that I listed, I'll be asking myself a series of questions. OK. Some of the questions I'll be asking myself: What did I accomplish? A follow-up question to that: How did I accomplish it? Why did I accomplish it? How did I feel after I accomplished it? Another question: What did I not accomplish? Follow-up questions to that:  Why didn't I accomplish it? What prevented me from, you know, being able to check that off the list? Is this still important to me?

If no, let's move on or pivot if yes, let's use the knowledge that I have on what prevented me from accomplishing it and you know, leverage it to set myself up for success this next time around. Maybe, maybe you just need to take a different approach or set up different accountability or maybe it's the end result that I'm wanting. But the path that I'm trying to take to get me to that end result isn't working. 

So for example, let's say, you set a goal or a resolution to read three personal development books this year. And let's just say that you didn't hit that goal. Maybe you read one, maybe you read none. But on your reflections, let's say you do realize that instead of reading personal development books, what you ended up doing was pouring into personal development podcasts.

OK? So, you were consuming personal development information just not the way that you had set out to, which is fine, which is great. So for 2024, you could tweak that goal to be reflective of what did work for you, the podcasts, and what didn't work for you, the books, right? Use that information and leverage it when you set your next round of goals.

I have an example for you from my actual real life. So in 2023 I had a goal to get back into my morning me time routine. OK? I, I hit a home run. I'm not even gonna lie. I absolutely was able to do this. I am so happy to say that post babies I am now back to my regularly scheduled morning time, which I love. 

The time that I have in the mornings is time that I value so much. It truly sets my day up to be the best that it can be. I 1000% with my whole being, believe that my morning me time my morning routine sets me up to be the best mom, the best wife, the best business owner, the best coach, the best friend, the best daughter that I can be. Ok. Why is that? It's because I'm starting the day by pouring into myself. I'm starting each day by serving myself first.

So in turn, I can serve others better. Ok. So with this goal in particular, there's not much that I have to tweak. In fact, my morning me time, my morning routine is so ingrained in me that there's a good chance it's probably not even going to be part of my 2024 goals or resolutions. Right? That would be like me or you setting a goal to, you know, drink a glass of water when you're thirsty.

I don't know. I can't think of anything just so obvious right now. Setting a goal to just breathe inhale and exhale. No, you just do it right. That is how my morning routine is for me. I just do it. So, on the other hand, another goal that I had for 2023 was to actually get dressed and put together outfits more times than not. I'm not gonna say that I miserably failed at this, but I definitely, I did not knock it out of the park.

This one was not a home run. So for me, I'll be looking at, you know, why didn't I accomplish this? Why didn't I get dressed and put together outfits more times than not? What prevented me from doing that? How do I feel that I didn't do it? How would I feel if I had done that? Is it something that is still important to me? And I mean, I'll dive into this a little bit right now just so you can actually have an example of what this reflection looks like.

So for me, why didn't I accomplish this goal? Why didn't I get dressed and put together outfits more regularly? Honestly, it's because in the mornings I was spending that time pouring into myself in other capacities, right? Or it was also because I had, you know, set myself up, the outfit that I put on for that day was best geared toward the activities that I was going to be doing that day.

So maybe being in a put-together outfit was not the best outfit choice for that day. You know, if I'm taking my kids to the zoo and it's 98 degrees 100 degrees outside, you know, that's probably not gonna be a pretty cute put-together outfit for me. No, that's gonna be a pair of running shorts. It's gonna be tennis shoes and it's gonna be a workout top.

That's what I mean, that's why I didn't accomplish this. What prevented me from doing that? It's the way my life is right now. How do I feel that I didn't do it? I actually feel pretty ok about it. Do I feel better when I am dressed in an outfit with a headband on with a little bit of makeup on? Yes, I absolutely do. But I know that I can also feel good without those components, right?

I can also feel confident, positive, optimistic. Like I'm being the best version of myself. Like I'm able to be productive, like I'm able to be fun. I also feel good when I'm not put together in an outfit. And I think that just throughout the course of the year, I realized it wasn't the best use of my time and energy every day. 

So you know this last question that I would ask myself that I am actually asking myself.Is it still important to me? 

Yeah, it is, getting dressed, not getting dressed, getting dressed in put-together outfits is absolutely something that's still important to me. But am I disappointed in myself that I didn't accomplish it? Like I wanted to this year? Not really. How am I gonna tweak this for next year? It might not even be something that I try to do because honestly, the reason I had set this resolution was in an effort to help me start feeling more like myself again after becoming a mom of two. And I think there's other ways I can work towards that end goal. 

You know, it's like I said, a couple of minutes ago, maybe it's the end result that you're wanting. But the path that you're trying to take to get there isn't the right path. Maybe for me getting dressed isn't the right path to help me feel more like myself.

Again, things that I do know, help me feel more like myself again, are exercise. I exercise very regularly, spending time with my girlfriends, going on dates with Oakley. You know, things like that. I know also help me to feel more like myself and there's pretty solid chance that I'll be leaning more even more into those things. As I embark, as I set out to set goals and resolutions for 2024.

So as we start to wrap up today's episode, I wanna leave you with one thought to ponder: How can you grow? How can you leverage 2023 as you start stepping into 2024? Ok. How can you grow? Today, we talked about what's more important than when you start a goal, or a resolution, or a habit is how you start it and that reflecting on the past is a great way to start and set yourself up, not only for growth, but also for success.

We talked about how this not only prevents you from making the repeated mistakes that you have made in the past, but it also allows you to build upon your past successes. 

And finally, we covered some of the questions that I will be asking myself along with those sub-questions as I do my own personal reflections. 

So my friend, my door is always, always open for you, reach out via DM’S.

You can find me at thinkhappy_co on Instagram. And if I can support you in your own reflections or resolutions, please reach out to me. Nothing would make me happier than to support you in that area of your life. And with that being said, I will be back in your ears next week with another brand new episode of the Think Happy Podcast, Happy Reflecting.